Dubai (WP) The World Administrator announced that a dwindling population of pagan extremists known as Christians were rounded up from their underground Rocky Mountain refuge by World Government Police officials today and sent to the World Government Siberian Reeducation Camps. Hopefully this is the last we will see or hear from this bothersome group. Administrator Tariq Azim said in remarks from the World Government Headquarters in Dubai as police officials sought to destroy what is hoped to be the last copies of divisive and controversial Christian texts known as The Bible. While rumors persist that followers of Christianity once influenced the morals, values and governance of millions and were in open opposition and sometimes even armed conflict with the official world religion of Islam, the Administrator assured citizens that this is not the case and that anyone suspected of discussing the subject of Christianity would receive forty lashes from the local Punishment Implementation Office. The propaganda popular with these followers of a wandering and homeless son of a carpenter would have one believe that every precept of the official world religion is in error. A concept which officials at all levels dismissed as as being nothing more than the ramblings of a group of malcontents. IN OTHER NEWS: Secular Teachers who were deemed guilty by their local Council of Justice of teaching and promoting free thought and exploration of ideas along with factual history were taken to World Government Headquarters and executed today for the entertainment and amusement of The World Administrator and his guests from the Thought and Doctrine Management Authority, Hopefully, this will put an end to this whole free thought business once and for all. Azim said as he laughingly cheered the disemboweling of a particularly delusional teacher who is said to have spoke to students about the notion of individual freedoms. MEANWHILE World Press, the official news generation and media approval agency reports that World Police have arrested a group of people who collectively identified themselves as so-called comedians on a number of unspecified charges. Imam Aylick Kameellbawlzm, commander of the local World Police detachment in Detroit declined a request for an interview so close to regularly scheduled government required mid-day prayer chanting and commented only that the group was suspected to be .....involved in something funny. A NEW WORLD RECORD in sports today as young Sheyett Ayamsogud won the Goat Toss competition, hurling a freshly maimed goat more than eleven meters at the World Islamic Games in Baghdad. IN RIYADH, big things are underway for planners of the annual Usama bin Laden Festival, where it was announced that a number of the Christians captured in a recent roundup would be available for the traditional Stoning of the Infidels activity following the parade honoring the Martyrs of Islam.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 07:28:46 +0000
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