During my younger years, I always thought that being smart (and being smart-alec), providing answers for peoples problems and showing off what people did wrong and showing off how to do things right is how its supposed to be, and I even have the sharp tongue to convey it. I thought being right was the real deal and I was proud of it. After receiving the avoid-the-know-it-all-guy treatment from friends and acquaintances, and after reading certain books, listening proactively and responding cleverly AND appropriately was all important. Solving the problem is important, but not as important as showing empathy to the audience in the first place. And in most cases, shutting up and giving a careful ear, and sometimes a shoulder, to a friend in need, is more than enough. I lost a number of relationships and respect from dear people because of being a know-it-all show-off. (I think most of my friends agree about this). I believe people can solve their own problems. People are smart. When they need help, then they will open their mouths and ask for it, directly or indirectly. People will then normally need guidance, but they have to act upon it. The same goes with Facebook statuses. People just like to share and let off the burden in their heads and hearts. They DO NOT want solutions. They do want to be acknowledged and shown empathy. Show a little bit of that in the comment section. HOWEVER, if you still insist on giving solutions, then either inbox, call or better yer, meet up, and make it personal. So I try all it takes with what I share above. I dont want to mengamah (be a smart-alec) and tunjuk-pandai (show off) on other peoples comments. I just click Like to acknowledge and type a few simple positive words to show empathy. Thats all. I believe that taking good care of good relationship and friendship is way more important than being right about in debating a certain issue and memajal (persist) on winning the debate. Having said that, likewise, I also ask: PLEASE do not dirty-fy yourself, if there is such a word, (jangan jua mengamah) on my comments section as well!!! I try to word this as respectfully and yet as tough-ly as I could!
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 15:32:18 +0000
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