Dying without having done what I want in life isnt what bothers me. There is no planning around that. Its the fear of growing old and having to think about all the decades that passed while I didnt at least try to live a way that will let my elder self be pleased with my young self. Thats what Im afraid of. Thats what keeps me wanting to feel alive all the time. Some people ask me why I dont care about my future or why I dont want to work towards a future. Well I do and I am. There is no peace for someone who grows old and is bitter about their decisions in the past. To work your life away in hopes of being able to live long enough to retire is a gamble with too much to lose for me. Ill easily trade comfort for life experience more often than not. Same goes for more time over money. Id rather work making my own living that pays for the life that I desire. Working a job that makes someone else rich, building my life so that I am dependent on the person I am making rich and have that person be able to turn around and decide that I dont work anymore is also too much of a gamble for me. I will not spend my young life building a life that I might not be able to afford or be healthy enough to enjoy at the flip of a switch. Instead Ill do my best to spend my youth living as much as possible while I can still do the things I love.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 14:12:31 +0000
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