E pa!! In honor of another birthday boy, my brother from another awesome Portuguese mother, Brian Barcelos, I leave you proof of our awesome heritage! Happy Birthday, Brian!! You Know Youre Portuguese When... - Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name. -You have a rooster napkin holder. -Your father or grandfather is called Manuel, José, Antonio, or João. -You have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dining room, living room, bedroom--on all your tables. -You decorate your walls with plates. -Your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints and Jesus as your church itself. -Youre 25 and still living with your parents. (Extra points if youre married and living with your spouse in your parents house) -You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you might never go to church except for weddings and funerals. -You think all university graduates should be called Doutor and like to be called so if you are one of the chosen few who have managed to finish college. -You think that you can catch a cold with a draft or by sitting in the spring sun. Cold drinks are also thought to bring on the dreadful gripe. And dont let anyone have a shower after eating as something terrible could happen to them. -You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book written in Brazilian Portuguese. -You say that the Portuguese, unlike the Spanish, are good at learning foreign languages. -Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lack of money in the States. -Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family -You go crazy for the World Cup -You refer to Portugal as O Continent -Youve walked in as paradas longer than you can remember…carrying a flag or as a queen -You have grape vines in your backyard -You earned over $10,000 for your first communion. -To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau au braz, baby! -A barbeque does not consist of burgers on the grill... Hello! Can you say sardinhas? -A wooden spoon equals discipline, or if you ever had to duck so you wouldnt get hit with flying shoes. -Your parents anticipate that youll marry your first long-term boyfriend/girlfriend. -When you hear the word Sagres you think Beer -Nothing beats a buttered papo-seco. -Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep over, but your 19 year old sister cant go out past 7pm. -Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin. -Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting otherwise they think you dont like the cooking. - Last supper picture in the kitchen, usually above the door frame. - plastic coverings on the couches. - You call hamburgers - AMBERGA. - Instead of garbage being called Lixo it is called Garbicho. - When you pick up a relative at the airport coming from Portugal , they always smell like mothballs. -You can hold more than one beer in your hand, plus a shot of Aniz -you know and own all of Jorge Ferreiras albums - Dont eat with money on the table it is bad luck -the mirrors in your house are framed in gold -Does any one in your family make wine in their garage??? -If you dip stale bread in meat juice -If your brother and/or father work construction and your mother is a cleaner -If you have a room in your house where everyone is forbidden to go to or be in and the room with your first communion picture. -If you have grape vines, favas, or couves growing in your back Yard. -If you talk with your hands while youre on the phone...or just in General -If you drink wine with everything.... I MEAN EVERYTHING... -If you have a tia Maria and/or tio José” -In your freezer. There is some frozen linguisa or any fish -If your house has more plants in it than outside it of it -If you decorate your walls with plates...Tu és Português!!! -If you know what Bacalhau or a Malassada/Filhós is -If you spend 75% of the day cleaning...youre Portuguese! -If your live-in kitchen is in your basement.. -If you ask your mom mãe...what is there to eat? and she says pão com Manteiga e queijo” -you believe that you’ll get a “gripe” if you go outside after a bath/shower -believing that drinking milk after eating a figo can kill you -When you were young your grandma would tell you not to walk over someone’s legs or else they wont grow -If you have ever been hit by a Chinela or Fivela or wooden spoon. -If you grew up scared by something called O Velho. -If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking. -If you light a candle to the Virgin Mary on the night before your big test. -If you use your chin to point something out. -If you constantly refer to cereal as con flacs or chirios (pronounced Shi-re-oj). -If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner, even if its a one bedroom apartment. -If you can dance foklorico or rancho without music. -If you use mantega instead of olive oil and cant figure out why your ancas are getting bigger. -If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some Vics vapor rub all over your peito and inside your nostrils. -Your mom packs your lanche every day even though youve just turned thirty-two. -If you call the corner store a estoua dos indianos. PORTUGUESE PRIDE!!!!!!
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 03:18:38 +0000
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