EXCERPT ! Three days is how long it took for me to catch up with her. Women always seem to have something up their sleeves and from what I hear, the dating advice columns urge them to play by some series of rules. It left me wondering what kind of game she was playing. Gave some lame excuse of having spent the weekend with that white lady she was with at the gallery. What was her name? Jill? Beth? Kate? Yeah, thats it. Kate. She was probably out getting her freak on. I could tell she was kind of young, but that didnt bother me since Id already decided I liked this girl. I was going to just play it by ear and see where it all went. This had been a completely exhausting day. After a day of surgeries, all I wanted to do was come home and take a hot shower, and then fall into a coma-like sleep for ten to twelve hours. Instead, all I managed was an uneasy four hours of sleep, complete with tossing and turning. In my dreamlike state, I had visions of a childs face whose sweet, innocent, big, brown tear-filled eyes seemed to call out to me. A lady was also there, doubled over, hand up in the air like she was trying to protect her face. She too, was crying. There was a mans voice that seemed muffled in the background. He spoke in a soft tone, but his words were menacing, piercing, cruel. The man’s shadow drew closer to the woman. She was screaming, he was striking her. The child, trembling and crying, had peed on himself in fright while he witnessed what appeared to be his mother being struck numerous times. It was the kind of dream that left one immobilized. No matter how much the desire for the dream to end was present, it just went on without ceasing, leaving me feeling paralyzed. Once I was able to break away from the icy grips of the dream, I found my way into a hot shower. Just standing there letting the hot water, that felt like hail, land on my skin. It had been a long time since Id had one of those dreams. Perhaps too long. So long, in fact, that Id forgotten the disturbing feelings, and worse yet, thoughts that invaded my mind following the episode. Many a night I sat unseeing in front of the TV as the noise posed as a buffer to the thoughts that plummeted around inside my mind. Countless times Id asked myself when it would end? How long can one person be punished for acts that were seemingly beyond their control? I never meant to hurt anyone. But, I imagine neither did the parent who lost control and shook a crying infant, ending in its death. Neither did they mean what they did. Yet they did it. The dreams always left me feeling heavy-hearted, angry...and frightened. Frightened because the same hands that were used to restore life and good health, were also destroying it. I knew that the man in the dream was me and that child was mine. Excerpt from Season of Change by Tumika Patrice Cain (copyright protected) Amazon: amzn.to/1tEpQ9d Barnes & Noble: bit.ly/1p5asRl Kobo: bit.ly/1kue0Ko iBookstore: bit.ly/11UiGWV Book trailer for Season of Change: youtu.be/ToXNTbfe0cM Tumika Cain
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 16:04:42 +0000
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