Early Summer threatens UK with Volat-Araneus (The Flying Spider) Humans aren’t the only species that like the hot weather. Top Scientists and Professors from Albion University believe that Volat-Araneus (the Flying Spider) will, without a doubt, migrate to the UK this year. Due to the coming hot weather, and an abundance of this spiders favourite food, The False Widow! Chances are you probably know that name. It’s the killer spider which was all over last years headlines, and this new-found species literally eats them for breakfast. The great benefit here is that the Volat-Araneus may reduce the False Widow population. Although this species is carnivorous it is not poisonous. The worst reported case of attack from the Volat-Araneus, comes from The fictional Republic of Kamistan (IRK) where 8 year old boy Omar Hassan found a that a female had planted her eggs in his elbow. After only 3 hours of surgery Hassan was cleared of the insects and was left with nothing greater than a 3″ scar, half the size of the spider that caused the injury. Night-Owl Locals, from the South, North or Central England may already be familiar with this species. As one of the few nocturnal insects, it is rare that the Volat-Araneus is seen in the day, preferring the company of darkness they are only ever found during the day if their nest is disturbed. Common nesting places include, underneath beds, in cupboards or wardrobes, and toilet seats where the lid if left down. We caught up with 38 yr old Rebecca Jordan, the words leading expert in XenoArachnia, I have closely monitored the Volat-Araneus for the last 40 years, and I can say that without a doubt the species will be commonplace throughout the UK and other European countries this summer season. We have found from scientific studies that whenever a country’s population of False Widow increases we see the Volat-Araneus population increase more than ten times that amount within a year. We would have released this information last year, but we did not want to start a panic. Chances are that everyone in the UK will “physically” encounter at least one of these spiders this year and never even know it. Because of the nocturnal nature of the species they mostly come at night, mostly. Thats her speech .
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 07:56:00 +0000
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