Education News: SAT Tests will no longer require timed essays and is dropping “fancy vocabulary words” from the test. The decision to allow No. 3 pencils is still pending. History News: Last week marked the 50th anniversary of the Buffalo Chicken wing; which means it also marked the 50th anniversary of that celery stick nobody wants. Miscellaneous News: The World Clown Association announced that the number of clowns worldwide has dropped dramatically. he drop in clowns is being attributed to one fatal car accident. NASA News: The Kepler telescope has discovered 715 new planets. Either that or somebody sneezed on the lens. But I have to ask, if you suddenly find 715 new planets, how hard were you looking in the first place? Technology News: News reports say that Microsoft will soon purchase Yahoo, but will have to borrow money to do it. If you would like to help, send a check to: Bill Gates, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA. 98052. Squib Notes: 1. Breaking News: Clown Shortage Threatens Circuses, Birthday Celebrations… And the future of Congress. 2. Jodie said she had to stop drinking Muscle Milk because her body is muscle intolerant. 3. Woman sends emotional text 5 paragraphs long. Man responds with “k.” Woman spontaneously combust. 4. Poll: 58% think Cold War will slow global warming. Quote of the Week: “The bitcoin is in the mail.” From the Five-0-Five
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 18:55:48 +0000
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