Elbonism – The Origin of Truth Part Three: Norwegian Would We will never know exactly how long The Prophet Jurggen Snubbs drifted across the Atlantic on his ever-deteriorating raft. He kept no records beyond the first day he left the Elbonist tribe. By his own estimation, it was “a really long time”. What we DO know is that the power of the central arm joint was with The Prophet on his journey, for he was saved on the very day his craft capsized. Just before passing out in the water, Snubbs’ spirits were lifted as he read the side of the ship approaching him: “Sven’s Galley”. When he awoke, The Prophet stopped feeling better. Although he’d been correct to assume that the ship was Scandinavian, Snubbs hadn’t known that it had months earlier been captured by Spanish pirates. Captain Bonito El Pirateo was not a kind man, and he’d initially treated The Prophet in a less-than-holy way (at least, not “holy” in the usual, religious sense of the word). After a few years of living the life of pirate booty, so to speak, The Prophet managed to convert his captor to the ways of Elbonism. By the time he’d dropped The Prophet off on the shores of Norway, the pirate captain had decided to give up his sea-faring life of crime and to instead become Europe’s second greatest Prophet of Elbonism: “El Bo, The Other Prophet”. Upon his return to Spain, El Bo would regularly show up at the homes of strangers after sunset. He’d complain of an unbearable headache until invited in to sleep on the sofa (a phenomenon known to historians as the “Spanish Imposition”), then he’d preach to them throughout the night. In this manner, The Other Prophet is believed to be responsible for the conversion of literally tens of Elbonists across continental Europe. Today, that number has risen by nearly over 4% (citation needed, but not requested – Ed). NEXT: Night of a Dozen Elb*ws
Posted on: Tue, 25 Jun 2013 03:27:53 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015