Ellen was featuring some crazy craigslist posts and it reminded me of one I saw years ago while living in Chicago. It was SO fantastic that I emailed it to myself. Here it is, in all its glory... LOL John Lawler you should enjoy this amazingness. The only sofa youll ever want. Ladies and Gentlemen: If youre an aspiring neer-do-well or have a knack for upholstery, I might be able to interest you in this free sofa purchased from CB2 (tantalizing) some four years ago. I may--just may--still have the original receipt, or Bill of Sale, as it were. As you can plainly see in these dramatic, introspective photos, the sofa is in need of upholstery, should you wish to maintain a presentable appearance in your house-hold. On the other hand, if you wish to put forth an air of complacency, nonchalance, and decadence, this would make a truly stunning and remarkable companion piece to a foot-high pyramid of cocaine on your living room floor. As is the case with everything that is to be purchased or acquired through the Inter-Net, in particular those items whose composition is mainly porous fabric, there are certain justifiable hygienic concerns that one should seek to have allayed. I and my one roommate are quite forward-thinking, conscientious, and considerate types, so do rest assured that there has been absolutely no fornication of any kind upon the sofa. (My other roommate, to whom the entirety of the sofas damage can be attributed to, is entirely too inertial and incapable of attracting any mate willing to submit to fornication, whether on this offered sofa here or any location imaginable.) Hollywood may be out of ideas, but I sure as shoot am not. If youre considering the sofa and having it re-upholstered, consider these interesting alternatives to conventional upholstery: * a stylish muslin photo backdrop * a nice layer of low-maintenance Scotts Red Fescue grass seed * the Shroud of Turin (see my other Craigslist posting) * tapestry of bacon * the alabaster hide of one thoughtless, unaccountable roommate I am entirely gracious for your audience thus far. As this ads categorization indicates, this sofa is yours only for the cost of pick-up; I want nothing for it. I live on the second floor of a two story house in slow-to-gentrify Logan Square. Both the front and back entrances are relatively straight, with large staircases and very few turns. Do let me know if youre at all interested, and we shall set up a viewing at our convenience.
Posted on: Tue, 22 Apr 2014 17:45:32 +0000
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