Enjoy- Inspections in the Army-I. Guys who have served in mountain areas more than 10K feet above MSL would appreciate the menace of yaks. These animals have limited grazing grounds, and forage for food inside military lines too. Ignorant they are, they often defecate even near the ‘officers messes’ and ‘quarter guards.’ It is not possible to explain them that army camps already had enough bullshit, anyway. It was inspection time in our unit. “I do not want to see a single yak within 3 mile perimeter of the unit lines,” the worried CO told us in the preparatory meeting. The regimental police section was augmented to extra strength, and pickets were posted in every possible entry route of these hairy beasts. Since the rehearsals started almost a week earlier, the approaching yaks were fended off by the stick wielding regimental police. The whole camp looked clean, spic and span, sans the filthy yaks. On the day of the inspection, the commander landed around noon. To our surprise his wife and children also accompanied him. For most of us it came as a happy surprise, for commanders tend to be a little casual and relaxed when their spouses are around. Also, since most uniformed men are generally henpecked, the lady’s program normally superseded the inspection program. “These guys are visiting from Delhi. They wanted to see some yaks. So I brought them along,” he was all smiles. Our jaws dropped at that very instant. The regimental police sergeant was sent to pull back the posted sentries immediately. Like amorous guys whose wives reported of headaches every night, the yaks that had come knocking the doors in the morning, seeing the red arm banded sentries, had all retreated to safer pastures for the day. They too after all were Hinayana Buddhists, and had their dignity and pride. The Regimental police were told to go in search of these absconding animals, and bring them for viewing by the commander’s children. It was difficult to explain the reason of contradictory orders to the baffled sentries. It was more difficult to say sorry to the creatures that were turned away for a fortnight, and request them to come in immediately. They are no American girl friends anyway. Knowing our predicament it appeared the hairy rascals were playing hide and seek with our desperate sentries. It was around four in the afternoon when one sentry managed to bring an animal to the unit. Pictures were taken alongside her, and our inspection was brought to a close. I am sure the picture must be on the mantle of my commander’s home, with the pictured folk blissfully unaware of our state that day.
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 04:34:17 +0000