Epiphanies come at the most inconvenient times...4:30-7 AM after finally falling asleep at 2 AM from a racing mind, really!? Maybe thats what break ups do...break us open so the light can shine in. In dating and with meeting new people in social scenarios, one of the things I have always noticed for years and years is I dont ask others a lot of questions about themselves in the beginning which people often think I do because Im not interested in them or Im just some sort of snob at times. I never knew why until just now and have really been sitting with this lately because it has come up again and again...especially in dating or networking which I have done a ton of. I have realized I do because Ive always disliked when people ask me the same old questions which they often default to talking about stuff I generally dont really care about and know they really dont as well. Its typically not connecting on anything meaningful about each other and is more filler/fluff. Think about it. Ie. How are you? Where are you from? Tell me about your family? What do you do for work? Blah blah blah. Somehow it always defaults to growing up and family stuff or letting our jobs define us which is not interesting to me (and some of us might be dealing with something difficult) so I always think about how I dont want anyone to feel the way I usually do on the receiving end so...I. Hold. Back. And there are consequences to that. Its actually born out of genuine care and respect not wanting to be intrusive or talk small meaningless chatter that is honestly usually just boring and leaves no impact on either person which is not what Im about...but, it usually just stops there with an obvious lack of real connection and can land weird. I have a solution! And, it gets me jazzed! What I care about more than someones past or meaningless facts about where they grew up (sorry, not sorry) is where they are going? What motivates them? What gets them excited? Hobbies? Where are they having fun in their life? Its focusing on the future, connection and the *spaces we live into.* Personally, professionally, spiritually, whatever applies. And, talking about things that matter by sharing mine with them if they are stuck since its obviously not a usual question. (Great ice breaker and wakes people up.) Thats all.
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 15:14:31 +0000
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