Episode 28 In the last episode: Bandit’s cousin was trapped and poisoned and Homeowner met El Jeffé for coffee. In this episode: Homeowner was awakened by tricorder beeps on the nightstand. It was her cellphone ringtone but she just kept slamming it as if it were an alarm clock. Some clarity washed over her melatonined brain as she finally picked it up and answered. It was the vet. The raccoon had survived the night. It responded to treatment by vomiting up the last dose of poison but had become dehydrated. So once the retching had stopped the vet felt it necessary to anesthetize it and start an IV for hydration. It would be another charge. “Why didn’t I just shoot it!” she thought. He wanted to keep the animal another 24 hours for observation. There would be an additional charge for that as well. During the night members of the Manor scoured the area and ran the forage route. Bandit spoke with allies but there was very little information gleaned until he spoke with Barn Owl who told him that his sources reported a raccoon had been trapped but he had not been able to ascertain where. Bandit knew exactly where. He traveled as quickly as he could but it had been daylight for quite a while by the time he reached his destination. He searched the property and found what he was looking for but too late, the trap was empty. Homeowner dragged herself from bed. She had not one thing on her to-do list for the day, which was highly unusual for her. She put on the tea kettle to heat and dug around in the cabinet for some tea. She was in the mood for something different. She poured a bowl of Great Grains and went out to the patio table for breakfast. It was still early and the sky was overcast. The birds were eerily quiet. It seemed she had just sat down when the kettle whistled inside. She pushed herself out of the chair and went in to make her chai tea. Or ckckckkckkckchchchcai tea as it is supposed to be pronounced. She learned this recently at a Thai restaurant when she had ordered chai tea. The server said ckckckck-HI with a strange clearing of the throat. Hi, said Homeowner. Would like chai tea. Again, he made that throat-clearing sound as he said ckck-HI. “Learn to speak the language,” she groused to herself just as it dawned on her, he was correcting her pronunciation of the tea. It is not Chai. It is ckckckckckckchai, apparently. She poured some steamy water into her Federation of Planets cup and dipped a ckckckcckchai tea bag. Some cream and a dollop of honey rounded it out. She loved her honey. Over coffee the day before she had learned that El Jeffé owned an orchard and apiary, Neuva Vida. He said he would bring her some raw honey next time he saw her. A bribe never hurt anyone. Before their coffee had ended though, he had had invited her to the orchard to have lunch in the tea room there. Saturday, noon, she would meet him again. She smiled out loud as she recalled their time together. She enjoyed her breakfast on the patio and each time she thought of some work to do she pushed it out of her mind. She needed a day of rest. She carried her dishes in the back door and went out the front in search of her yard shoes to take La Diabla for a walk. She paused just outside the door, slipped on her flips and let the door slam. There was not the usual sound of scared chirping birds. In fact there was just one lone peep. She looked up. A young bird was out of the nest, sitting on a beam. Maybe the snake had gotten its siblings. Poor thing. She made a mental note to keep an extra careful eye out for the bird as it would surely begin flight lessons soon. She and her dog walked up the hill. La DIabla’s nails clip clipped on the pavement as she pulled on the leash, aching to run free to chase down the smells in the air. “Dog! Stop pulling!” La Diabla tugged more diligently cutting off her own air exchange. She gasped and coughed. Rather than fighting the dog, Homeowner cut short their walk and dragged her down the driveway toward the house, hacking and gagging all the way. Suddenly, she stopped digging in her paws and darted toward the house barking like mad, until she hit the end of the leash, nearly beheading herself as she flipped around and landed on her back.” Holy cow! What are you doing!” The baby bird was on the ground in the middle of the driveway. Homeowner shortened the leash and pulled the dog closer. “Leave it alone, you devil dog!” The parent birds were squawking like crazy and she was afraid if she lingered, the dive bombing would begin. She hustled the dog inside. The dog would not leave the bird alone and watched out the window, barking and yowling with her head stuck out of the blinds. She would not get down so Homeowner finally put her in solitary. From the utility room she scratched and barked. By mid-afternoon, Homeowner was ready to pull her hair out, so went out to check on the bird, hoping that it had been a quick learner and was gone. She scanned the yard but didn’t see it at first. She walked around back. Under the birdbath sat the bird. Just as she was about to turn to go, something caught her eye along the bottom of the fence. The fence was an old wooden one that had seen better days. A lath was broken near the ground and gazing through the hole was a cat just waiting for a late lunch. Homeowner picked up a rock and chucked it toward the hole sending the Don scurrying out into the woods. She would have to keep a closer watch. Throughout the day she would check on the bird and shoo the cat away, feeling proud of herself for her humanity. It was getting late and La Diabla’s bladder was surely getting full. Homeowner kept putting it off her walk to prevent the hoopla with the bird but it was past time for her to go out. Last time she had checked the bird was still in the back yard so in her wisdom she took La Diabla out the front. She took her directly to the road and let the dog clickity clip along the asphalt. Business finished, she headed the dog back toward the house. Homeowner scanned the fence line for the horrid cat. All seemed well and homeowner relaxed a bit and slowed her pace to enjoy the beautiful day. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was the vet. As she listened to what he had to say, la Diabla sniffed the ground. Her master ignored her as she said things like, Oh my, and really!? The dog caught sight of Don Kitty and took off like a shot at the invader, ripping the leash from her preoccupied master. By the time Homeowner caught up the little demon, she had already chased off the Don and spied the baby bird that was back under the bird bath. Sweetie, come here! But the dog had lost all sense and bolted toward the baby bird, dragging the leash behind. Her master tried to intercept her but la Diabla had it by the head in seconds and viciously growled from between her clenched teeth at her master. There was nothing to be done at that point without losing a limb so Homeowner walked away. She went in the house, leaving the bird-killer to her devices. She grabbed the cage and her check book then began the short walk to her parent’s to borrow the truck. She had to go fetch the million-dollar-raccoon from the vet. When she returned home, the dog was sitting on the front porch; leash still attached and two feathers hanging out of her mouth. Not so delicately, she scooped up the little beast. You are lucky the coyotes didn’t get you! It would have served you right she scolded and tossed her back into solitary while she decided what to do with the ‘coon. Pop buzzed down on the golf cart to check out the action. You get yourself a new pet, Bethie? Funny, Pop. No it’s got babies somewhere. I guess I will just let it go. How much did this little deal cost you? I don’t want to talk about it, but at that price she’d better have the ability to bend steel with her bare paws. She sat the cage on the ground near the fence and unlatched the door. For half a second the bewildered ‘coon looked up at Homeowner, then dashed out the door and under the fence. Ch ch ch ch. Ch ch ch ch. It was gone before she could blink. Go find those babies, she whispered under her breath. Missed by homeowner, a Bunny Scout darted out from under the quince, to give report to his liege. The relief at the Manor could not be contained as babies clung to their mother. The cousins celebrated as they listened to her tell the story of her captivity and subsequent torture. They learned a very important lesson about cages and poison that would be shared with the family for generations to come. Lord Bandit was glad his cousin had returned but was unable to fully enjoy the festivities, knowing a mandatory meeting had been called by the Don. He quietly went to his quarters to rest until nightfall. His gut told him that the meeting that night would not end well. That evening, Homeowner put the table scraps on the ground behind the fence rather than burning them.A twinge of guilt tugged at her for wreaking havoc on the little raccoon family. She sat down on the porch steps to admire the constellations when a message from El Jeffé lit up her phone. She smiled and texted back, Just who I needed to hear from today. Lord Bandit kissed his babies and the Lady of the Manor. He hoped he would be back soon as he stepped into woods and made his way to the clearing.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Oct 2013 01:19:32 +0000
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