Even though life bums me out more than it should, Im really thankful that Im able to perceive things positively. I was once miserable all the time like a lot of people I know and funny enough, my present self would want to punch that version of me. Things happen. Things will always happen. But every experience only happens once and theres no reason to waste those experiences by being negative. Yes, negative feelings are inevitable, but focusing on them and not doing anything about them is a disservice to yourself and everyone around you. The concept of living a life is pretty cool. And the more self-discipline you give yourself the better things will turn out overall. The fact that I am capable of waking up every day and make choices that dictate my future whether that be financially, scholarly, or just how much fun I want to have that day is fantastic. Im still young and am in the process of building my future, that alone is something to be happy about. Quite honestly, I have no reason to hate myself. Im not the prettiest or smartest guy around... but I wouldnt want to be. That would make things more difficult. Of course I still get jealous of those kinds of people, since they give off the illusion that they have luxuries I personally dont have. But you know, if I had a super star appearance I would always be surrounded by people who never cared who I was. Id also probably stop caring and by then I would lose myself... and then its game over. I wouldnt be me, I would be a delusional asshole. Theres also that whole thing where Id probably base my happiness of off other peoples opinions of me and not my own, thus making my mental health too dependent on them and we dont want to go there. I wouldnt want to be too intelligent at this age either. Im constantly learning new things and making mistakes and really, if I never learned anything or made as many mistakes my life would be pretty boring. Everything would be expected and calculated. I would never want that. Basically, I guess Im glad that Im average, yet happy. I have my baggage, my mistakes, and my flaws, but that all makes me who I am. Up until now, Ive had a pretty good time being me and its not going to change any time soon.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 07:08:28 +0000
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