Even though we have been married for almost 36 years Paul and I are still discovering things about each other. For a long time we’ve had the following scenario often play out. I drop something on the floor. Paul says “How could you do that?” I become angry and think what a stupid question though I don’t say anything. Time goes by and the next time something is dropped Paul again asks the same question. Finally I answered and said, “Don’t you have things drop from your toes?” “Sometimes,” he says. “Then why is it such a big deal when I drop something?” “Because you have grasp.” And then we talked about having grasp and it was then that I learned that Paul thought once you grasped something with your fingers it always stayed there unless you unbent your fingers intentionally and let it go. I explained that sometimes a person doesn’t hang on to something firmly, or they move their hand before they have really gripped something. This morning he asked me to turn off the frying pan. When I cautiously slid my fingers along the counter to find the control I knocked a spatula on the floor. He said, “Never mind.” And then he said, “I didn’t think you’d need to find the frying pan by putting your hand on the counter.” I explained to him that I can’t just reach out and know that my hand will go right on the controls of a hot appliance, I have to slowly go up to it. He’d never thought about this. What I realize in thinking of these two conversations is that until I stopped being angry because I mistook something he asked me as a sarcastic comment, when it was just an observation because he didn’t understand how hands and fingers work we communicated. And in communicating it is amazing the little things you can notice about someone, even someone you’ve known for a long time.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 02:49:48 +0000
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