Ever wanted to cheer someone up who is suffering from depression but didnt know what to say? Here are 15 negative comments people make (without realising theyre negative) along with 15 positive alternatives. 1. “I know how you feel, I was depressed once.” Not everyone deals with things the same way, and that holds true for depression. Saying this can make someone feel as if youre downplaying their feelings and struggle. Let us not forget: Depression is much more than a bad mood or bad day. What you could say instead: I can only imagine what you must be going through, but I will try to understand the best I can. 2. “Lets go have a drink and have some fun, thatll get you over it.” How is me watching you have fun going to make me feel better? A night out on the town is no cure for depression. Depression isnt just a bad day. Its a hundred bad days, all at once, with seemingly no way out. What you could say instead: I would love to spend some time with you, and Im more than willing to be your shoulder to lean on. Maybe we can grab some coffee and catch up? 3. “You just have to deal with it.” Someone who struggles with depression IS dealing with it...every single day...as best they can. Saying this undermines that person and makes them feel as if they arent good enough. What you could say instead: You dont have to deal with this alone. I am here for you. 4. “Other people have it much worse than you do.” Someone else having problems does not make my problems disappear. What you could say instead: Im sorry that youre hurting. How can I help you? 5. “You’ll feel better tomorrow.” Really? Because there has already been a hundred tomorrows and things arent getting any better. Depression is something that grinds away at you over a long period of time and isnt something that goes away overnight. What you could say instead: Take it one day at a time, and Ill be here with you through them all. 6. “Life isn’t fair.” This is, once again, downplaying this persons feelings. No, life may not be fair, but that wont make them feel any better about their situation. What you could say instead: Im sorry this has happened to you, but we can and WILL get you through this. 7. “Life goes on.” Yeah, life does go on, but for someone dealing with depression, it can feel as if they are stuck with no way out. They probably have trouble imagining getting through the next minute, let alone the next week. What you could say instead: Life must be tough for you right now, but Ill be here to help you rediscover those good things. 8. “You’re being selfish.” A person struggling with depression is already being incredibly hard on themselves. They dont need you to cut them down, as well. Depression is not a choice. You dont choose to have it. What you could say instead: I really miss you. What can I do to help? 9. “You’re bringing me down.” Again. Depression is not a choice. A person struggling with depression already feels helpless and they are struggling to help themselves. The last thing they need is the extra worry and pain of trying to help you. What you could say instead: I hate seeing you so down. What can I do to help? 10. “What do you even have to be depressed about?” Depression isnt always caused by a traumatic or sad event. Sometimes, it just happens. That doesnt make it any less serious. What you could say instead: Im sorry I didnt realize you were struggling, Im here now. 11. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Theres a big difference in feeling sorry for yourself, and struggling with depression, although sometimes the two go hand in hand. What you could say instead: I can see that you are struggling, and it makes me upset. What can I do? 12. “You need to get some exercise.” Although exercise can help combat bad days, when someone is struggling with depression it may be too difficult to even get out of bed some days. What you could say instead: I need a walking buddy! Will you walk with me? 13. “You just need to get out of the house!” Again, for someone struggling with depression, leaving the house could seem next to impossible. And even if they do, leaving the house isnt a fix for depression. What you could say instead: I dont like the thought of you dealing with this alone. Maybe I can come over or we can go somewhere together. 14. “Everyone else is dealing with life, so why can’t you?” Depression is not a choice. It happens. And when it happens, it will affect anyone and everyone differently. What you could say instead: You seem to be having a difficult time and I just want you to know that Im here. 15. “You’re strong, you’ll be fine.” Depression will make anyone feel weak and helpless. What you could say instead: I believe in you, and I know you can get through this. I will be here every step of the way.
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 07:07:32 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015