Every Second Counts- Our family is learning what it means to live in the seconds of each day- not in the moments, but in the seconds of every minute and hour of a day. Katheryn’s sweet outlook and perspective of her trial is so humbling to me. She is down one moment…but in the very next second…sees the positive. She flips the negative to positive so beautifully. Just as a mosaic of colors paint an evening sky at sunset, Katheryn can refresh our days with laughter in the midst of her trials. Katheryn came downstairs the other day and did something that has really impacted me this week. She stopped midway in our foyer, tossing her head back and forth, moving her tiny little body as if doing a dance. Once I looked closer I just started to giggle. She was trying to wrap the long end of her NJ tube around the other side of her neck and had a big smile on her face the entire time. What joy she has in the midst of such trials. What a sweet outlook she has. When others would have chosen to sulk and moan and groan, this little gal has chosen to dance. Have you ever found yourself saying…I can’t wait for… or, I wish…or, If only I had…or, One day I’ll…? Where is the joy in the journey with a life always looking ahead for wishes to hopefully come true? I have been trained in life over and again in goal setting, and have been in the leadership circles of hearing we ought to walk in the direction of our dreams. However, if all focus rests solely on what our tomorrows might or will look like where is the life in today? If all I do is yearn and search for my dreams, “wishing upon those stars”, then I risk the sad prospect of being totally consumed by the wishes. I miss the beautiful dreams that are unfolding right before my eyes in the current moments. Focus on tomorrow washes away the time of the precious moments. And I forget to look at the evening sunsets that paint the skies or other beauties of the day when so focused on my hopeful lists of accomplishments or lack thereof. There is a reason why Jesus said, “Do not worry about tomorrow!” He knew that today held enough to live on, and God really only operates one day at a time lavishing upon us His richest bounties of blessings. God’s perspective lives in the now, the second of every moment, as He lavishes all He knows we need for the moment. He only gives us what we need in the moment so that every second of the next moment our dependency and trust is resting in His strong grip. If we focus on what we don’t have, hoping for tomorrow to meet our needs or to somehow be different than today, we miss the blessings starring in our wishful faces. There have been many moments where I have caught myself saying, “ Oh, I wish I were not having to deal with the pain of watching my sweet girl suffer so badly!” “I wish our family was not in this place!” “I wish it were all back to normal as before!” But what is normal? What is a life without trials and tribulations to point us to our Savior? Jesus said to expect them. Jesus wants us to focus on Him, our only surety in life, our only constant, the only true place where contentment each day can be met. It is in the place of surrender of ourselves into the rest of His graces that we can see the precious moments everyday unfold. How beautiful that in His rest we can see His “great faithfulness and mercies begin afresh each morning (Lam. 3:23)”. We just have to search for them. How? We have to set our mind’s focus on the eternal, not allowing the temporal situations affect or obstruct our view. It takes constant effort- a choice inside to surrender. Only in that is our effort. I found myself these past 2 weeks wishing for something else. Wishing for something different in the back of my mind was something I didn’t even realize I was doing until I saw little Katheryn’s NJ tube dance. Just a few days ago, I wrestled with thoughts of “I’m failing at everything I’m doing”. I found myself crumbling as I transferred those thoughts to realizations of identity. I was in a battle trying not to believe the lies coming at me: “You are a failure! You are worthless! You are inadequate to do this!” You see, my battle is not against flesh and blood. The battle I was having in my mind came from the spiritual forces that want to wage war with me. The powers of this dark world want to distract my focus, my eternal perspective, trust, my faith. Their job is to ultimately destroy me through the negative choice of following the false beliefs in my mind. My battle is not with helping my daughter overcome cancer, with trying to keep my other four kids sane and encouraged, with trying to stay devoted as a wife with Ben, or with working to have a healthy, balanced home. All those things just come naturally and easily if I stay surrendered to the One who “makes all things possible”. It is God who makes what seems impossible- possible. For I trust the truth that says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Mt. 19) Jesus’ focus was on the eternal, His Father in Heaven. So as I fight the spiritual battle for my mind…I look to the eternal, I look to Jesus- my author and finisher of my faith, who endured the cross for me. In these days of routines with a cancer treatment child, there is so much that needs to be done for just one child. Where is the time and where are my abilities to help the other 4 children? I am being stretched and torn in ways I never could have imagined, all the while, battling the toughest negative thoughts with truth. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses from I Tim. 1:17 that reads, “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” So often this verse is used to combat fear, but what is fear without the mind thinking and believing something false to be true? The most important part of that verse is the last part. It takes discipline, judgment, and wise discretion to fight the battles of the mind. Fear is born and conquered in the mind. This is where I am at right now. Trusting in God’s provision for my day that is lain before me, knowing that He has given all I need for living. I stand trusting with Peter that “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3) The past 2 weeks have been some of the hardest days for me yet with this journey. But…I keep on traveling…knowing now I have a choice. I can choose to focus on my Savior and listen to the truth which says, “You are loved, righteous, holy, set apart, sanctified, and filled with life” or “You are worthless, a failure, a no good sinner, and not perfected in weakness”. I choose to believe the first- and this is the only way to saturate every second and make every second count every single moment of the day. I don’t want to miss precious moments with my children, friends, or family because I am battling false beliefs and thoughts. I want to embrace every second wholeheartedly. Christ wants me to experience His life, His eternal life fully here while I am living on this earth and then one day unite with Him in glory. My Father and I can embrace in our spirits now- then one day we shall see each other face to face! Oh, how I long for that day! So, I make it a point now to watch eagerly for moments in every second of the days I live. I don’t want them to pass by quickly. None of us know when the day we are living is our last- so let’s live today to its fullest! And make sure to see the sunset tonight☺
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 02:02:04 +0000
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