Every little step you do not make towards me I use to push you away from me. It scares me to have you so very near me, sometimes every step I interpret as you leaving here. I wish there was an antidote to fear but as with all things that help you grow, the only way is through the cold. Sometimes Im afraid of your words, because I get so mad about the space I need to fill until action follows them. Im scared it stretches until I forget what I was waiting for, or you me. Sometimes when you say you love me I get so angry, like dont you dare say to me what I cant and want to hear most. Dont you dare give me a glimpse of what might be gone. Often I feel so closed although Im open, and what if you decide to leave a door open that might be used as an escape, by me or for you. So I hope you understand the absence between my smiles, the shadows beneath the glow in my eyes. I hope you get the pauses between my words, the novels that are written when I look at you and frown. For ultimately, its not distance I want to create, but the deepest closeness the both of us can have. - early morning hour writing. Inspiration for both the book and a new blog post. All love and light!
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 06:06:29 +0000
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