Every now and again I come across this video. It never fails to impact me. Watching it tonight the impact it had was the notion that I feel as though I am both the father and the son. This is a figurative comparison of course. There is a part of me that feels as damaged and ineffective as the sons body. Yet there exists a part of me that is like the father. This is the part that gets up every day and goes to work, it is the image I try and project to the world. Yet there are parts of me that are very much like the son. So broken that sometimes it over takes the father portion and a desperate battle ensues to regain composure. Those that know me probably wouldnt understand this, as my default position varies when I am battling. Some see anger as a mask to deflect from the struggle and others see withdrawal. Either way it is to never allow it to be known that the son exists at all. Toward the end of the video you can look into the sons eyes and see the inner person. You can see he is vibrant and very much alive under the ravaged exterior. He is trapped inside a body that will not do his will. Fortunately he has his father that goes to extraordinary lengths to surrogate his desire to function. As a person whos mind is damaged we do not have the opportunity for a surrogate. We are trapped inside a mind that will not do our will. It is very hard for me to watch this, as it is beauty and tragedy. It is glory to know the dad in me carries me on through life but so very sad to know a very real part of me is like the son. Watch this video with what I have described in mind and see if you can grasp what I am trying to convey. Let me know. https://youtube/watch?v=4v2SyDRW0v0
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 04:18:39 +0000