Every time I sat down to write, I couldnt do it. I finally finished this piece about 12:15am Saturday morning; heres hoping I got it right. This what I said: Heart. People often speak of soulmates in reference to their significant others. And on the occasion of celebrating Lynn Morse’s life, I thought it would be valuable to take a moment to honor how significant she is in our lives. I’d like to think she’d be happy with the term “heartmate,” instead, because, in reality, that’s exactly who she was. This is a woman who, when I first met her, back in the spring of 1993, welcomed me with open arms, when I had only known her son for a few weeks. We trekked out to DeKalb to see a Blue Rodeo concert for our 2nd date, and stopped by her house on the way. I knew I’d love this woman when she admonished her son for his questionable choice of fancy restaurants for dinner (White Castle); she gave him such a hard time. She cracked me up—her humor about it still sticks with me to this day. Though I didn’t always agree with her choices (I don’t care what you say, showing a 4-year-old the crazy wind/storm/tornado/monkey scene from the Wizard of Oz is NOT a good idea, no matter how “cute the little dog is.”), I always loved how much she cared about all of us. She gave us her all, 100%. This is a woman who would host a second holiday two days after the first one (such as Thanksgiving), because she wanted to cook and make it special for us in her own home, with her own unique touches. She spent hours making dresses and creating handmade ornaments and hemming pants that fell short—not just to be helpful or because we had asked, but because it brought her such joy to give of her love in that way. She worked hard to make sure her kiddos were taken care of, and she always made sure they were loved. She found ways to show love that shined through more than most people ever experience. Always, with all of her heart. How lucky are we that she had it. Lynn Morse wasn’t my mother-in-law; she was another mom. I know of many people who don’t have the luxury of a mother-in-law they appreciate. I’m fortunate that I have. Mom never once meddled in our relationship; she simply treasured the opportunity to love us all more. She treated each of us like one of her own kiddos, and never once made us feel like we were less than, well, really anything. You could call her up and tell her you ate broccoli for dinner and she’d treat you with a fanfare worthy of a king. She’d make a Tuesday feel just as important as Christmas, and tell perfect strangers about her family whether they wanted to listen or not. And believe me, sometimes, they really didn’t. We laugh about the “Mom”isms, which seemed to come weekly, like the time she said to me during my 2nd pregnancy, “You’re MUCH thinner now than when you were pregnant with Matty” or the time she told she’d teach me to iron since I’d been doing it wrong all along. We always knew her intentions were good, which made stomaching her words a bit easier. We’d roll our eyes at the story that she’d tell for the 100th time—yes, we know, Julie barricaded Jeff in his crib when he was a baby—wondering how many more times we’d have to hear. But that’s the thing about Mom. She found such joy in her children (uh, seriously…they could do no wrong…) and in her grandchildren that she wanted to share it with the world ten times over. She was all about connecting—but the beauty of it is that you didn’t just get connected to Mom—she connected you to everyone else, too. She’d be the first to tell you about Jeremy’s lake house or Jeff’s new role at work or Julie’s award for nursing; we often knew about other people’s news before we’d even get a chance to talk to them. That’s just how she was…all heart. This is a woman who faced tremendous adversity in her life, yet through all of it, she walked tall and proud. When she had little money to spend, she bought special gifts for her kids and grandkids; when she was tired, she’d babysit the kiddos anyway; when someone needed her, she’d drop everything and rush to help; and when she sensed sadness or heartache, she’d be the first to offer a big ole’ squeezy hug and warm shoulder to lean on. Not to mention that heart. This is a woman who would send cards for every holiday, and special notes in between. She’d take the time to call just to say hi, and she’d attend every event she could, no matter how far the drive, how cold the weather, or how long the concert happened to be. She showed up. Every. Single. Time. She loved with her whole being…unconditionally…family, friends and strangers alike. And boy she was funny. Her niece Patti said that she was always the life of the party, and that’s certainly true. Mom liked to be silly, play games, have fun, and joke around. She’d get that twinkle when she laughed, and knew how to make you feel good in every situation. What a joy she was to be around…even when she didn’t know it. As few weeks ago, when her stepson David passed away, I had an opportunity to witness some extremely meaningful moments with Mom. She opened up her home, offering to watch our 4 kiddos so Jeff and I could go visit David, even though she was hurting too. She commented on how well our kids did while we were gone, and we shared a nice meal. As she walked to us to the door when we left, I turned to give her a hug, and told her how much I admired her. She had this innate understanding of what was needed, and followed through with it, regardless of the impact it had on her. She chose grace, kindness, and love, every time, and it made such a huge difference in our lives. The interesting thing about Mom is that it was difficult for her to take the compliment. We were fortunate to see her in moments of courage, and also in moments of vulnerability, and when we’d share with her our gratitude, she’d turn it back on us. “I’m just so proud of all of you,” she’d say, as though her influence had nothing to do with her and everything to do with us. Mom was a person with whom we could talk about anything, and we valued that immensely. It’s rare to find a person who both understands you and is also willing to hear you. My goodness was her heart a treasure. So this time, I wouldn’t let her get away with it. As she shared again how much she loved us, I threw it right back to her. “You know how much you are loved by us all,” I said, “and we’re so lucky to have you in our lives. You need to know how much you matter. We admire you so much.” She smiled and squeezed me harder that day…and boy am I glad she did. That beautiful heart seeps through. What strikes me most about Lynn Morse is what carries through in her children and grandchildren. I see her strength in Julie; in Jeremy, her might; her heart shines through in Jeffrey. All 3 got her kindness, her humor, her fierceness…and a whole lot of love and compassion. Her grandkids are all quite a mash-up of Mom—all the best parts of her heart and her soul. And though I’m not a daughter by blood, I’m proud that I picked up some things along the way…as evidenced by my trip on the el last night, during which I realized I was on the wrong train about 20 minutes and 4 stops in. Yes, Mom, I get lost like you because I’m too busy watching the people and touching the leaves to focus. So I’ll steal your “It’s not lost; it’s an adventure” line, and go about my merry way...because that’s the stuff of life that you taught us, and I know it’s what means the most. I could stand here for hours and talk about mom and I’d love to, because then it would keep her here and we wouldn’t have to face life without her; but I know that no matter how much I say, I could never do her justice…for she was a rare one, one-of-a-kind, and no words can honor her enough. So I’ll close with one last sentiment. When we got to the house, they said that her heart stopped, and I’m going to disagree. Her heart didn’t stop—it burst from the unequivocal amount of love resting within. Lynn Morse showed up in this world…she mattered…she paid attention. And I know I speak for everyone here when I say what a difference she made. So, Mom, be at peace and know you are loved, more than you’ll ever realize. Stay safe on your journey and walk with good hope as you start on your new adventure. We miss you like crazy already down here, but we carry you deep in our hearts. And we thank you for giving us the gift of your love…your heart lives inside of us all. I love you…always.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 12:51:01 +0000
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