Every time something good or bad happens to me I automatically visit this place inside my mind. It keeps me grounded coz I know I had failed so badly. Theres a sanctuary inside all of us where we can seek refuge in the darkest of times and slowly build our return. Everyday a little...one step at a time....like a child learning to walk. No one believes you, except yourself. People whisper, He is finished and what not. Ive been there when I was sick and alone in Delhi and felt I was dying with no one to call for help in the middle of the night for a week. It was close to 50 degrees in the day, and 6-8 hrs of power cut daily. The water supply was messed up. Cant stay indoors...cant go out in the blazing sun. To make matters worse I was also going through a break up. Too proud to break down....couldnt afford to....coz in the morning I had to do the groceries, get water and feed myself or Id starve and thirst. And if you will believe me...I still trained although I wasnt half sure what I was doing that time....my mind was blank. Then when I couldnt take it anymore, for the first time in my life I called my mother and said, Mom, can you please come here. I really need you to be here and help me. I never asked her this way for help before. If she asked any other questions then Id have snapped but she didnt...she came. Every cloud has a silver lining. That was mine in 2012. Im still building....trying to reach my place among the top dancers of the country. Thats why at every jam I go upto the people I respect and admire and ask them to critique me. I think Im better as a person and a dancer but thats my personal opinion about myself. And my struggle to my dream shall continue... This was very personal but I decided its time to let it go...there isnt a day that has passed since then when flashbacks of this phase doesnt cross my mind. But Ive no regrets coz I know I am a survivor. Thank you friends and family who stood by me throughout and believed in me always.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 17:34:52 +0000
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