Everyday growing teach us There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative. Every once in a while a thought cross my mind and It leaves me wondering: Why do we think negatively when we know better? I mean look we all are full of wisdom when telling others to stay positive and giving a advices but still there is a time our mind go negative. And I figured out Because thinking negatively, expecting “the worst,” seeing the downside of positive situations, and even downright expecting failure, all convey a kind of backwards-thinking, emotional insurance policy. It goes something like, “If I expect a tragedy, then I won’t be disappointed when it takes place.” Our desire to want to be right is another common reason we subconsciously choose negative thinking. Sometimes, as foolish as it sounds, we would rather be right about our negative predictions than have a positive outcome prove us wrong. And since negative thinking leads to negative actions, or no action at all in many cases, by thinking negatively we create a self-fulfilling prediction for ourselves. In other words, we think negatively, predict a negative outcome, act negatively, and then receive a negative outcome that fulfills our prediction. Of course, none of this is what we truly want or need in our lives. So how can we stop talking ourselves into these thinking traps? Let’s take a look at my ways: Life simply isn’t black or white – 100% of this or 100% of that – all or nothing. Thinking in extremes like this is a fast way to misery, because negative thinking tends to view any situation that’s less than perfect as being extremely bad. For example: Rather than the rainstorm slowing down my commute home from work, instead “it wasted my whole evening and ruined my night!” Instead of my business venture taking a while to gain traction, “it’s never going to work, and it’s going to completely ruin my financial future. Rather than just accepting the nervousness of meeting a new group of people, “I know these people are not going to like me.” Since 99.9% of all situations in life are less than perfect, black and white thinking tends to make us focus on the negative – the drama, the failures, and the worst case scenarios. Sure catastrophes occur on occasion, but contrary to what you many see on the evening news, most of life occurs in a grey area between the extremes of bliss and devastation. If you struggle with seeing the grey area of a situation, sit down with a pen and paper, write down the best-case outcome, the worst-case outcome, and at least one realistic outcome that falls between the two extremes. For example, say you’ve been worrying about a new intimate relationship, write down: Worst-case outcome (unlikely extreme): “The relationship is a total disaster that ends with two broken hearts.” Best-case outcome (unlikely extreme): “The relationship is total bliss with zero arguments until the end of time.” Realistic-case outcome (highly likely): “There will be great times, good times, and not so good times, but we will work together, respect each other, and give our relationship a fair chance before drawing any conclusions.” Make the realistic-case outcome as detailed and long as you like, or list more than one realistic-case outcome. Giving your mind more options to consider will help reduce extreme emotions and allow you to think more clearly and realistically...!!
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 12:52:20 +0000
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