Everything I feel is mud... nothing hurts quite like this does... I feel it in my bones. My whole worlds spinning from above, and everything I am is mud. Dirty... filthy... Im shapeless... empty... Blood, sweat and tears fuel the hurt, mixed with a lifetime of doing dirt. And all the dirt brings pain until the tears flood, then I wonder why Im standing knee deep in the mud. Trying to believe in something with no evidence, cant tell the right over the wrong so I ride the fence, because in the end only a terrified fool repents. Im so dirty that getting clean dont make no sense. And since I cant stop my world from spinning I traded my soul for guns, money, weed and women. The only pleasure that I get is when Im sinning... This heart wont break but it keeps on bending. Been in, been down this road before, in the back of my mind knowing everything gets old, because when Im gone everything I loved fades quick , but every time I reach for the Truth I slip... Everything I feel is mud... nothing hurts quite like this does... my whole worlds spinning from above, and everything I am is mud. I cant take this confusion no more, time to let it go. Pull myself together and try stepping out on my own... A child born like a paper doll, because every step out on my own ends up a nasty fall. I head straight down until I hit rock bottom, then hear a voice in the chaos saying I got him! Then two hands slowly pick me up, I notice holes in the wrists as they lift me up out this mess Ive made... the hell Ive been... Then all the sudden everythings spinning again. Im screaming, God, where you at? I thought that you loved me? I cant make it alone, dont take your hand from me! Then everything goes still... the spinning dont stop but His hand is all I feel. Then as I pray God use me to do your will I realize Im standing on a pottery wheel... Everything I am is mud in my Fathers hands above... Mold me... make me... take me... break me...
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 19:37:28 +0000
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