Excerpt 37: INTERLUDE II: Excerpts from the Chief Communicator’s Occasional Log "Clara Freaks Out" December 29, 2012 “No matter what happens to me, don’t stop believing in the possibility of a better future,” I think, as I write this section. For example, I could die in any of a hundred timelines, versions in which I am or am not going to meet the Band and become the Chief Communicator. Someone else can be the Liaison for Earth, but many of the other events could be similar and possibly identical. Or, I could become the CC but not stay in this post for thirty years, due to death, resignation, or other ways I stop being the CC. Someone else could take my place, or there could be a new configuration which does not utilize a CC as Liaison. I may or not be with Epifanio. We may acknowledge our love and be together, married or not, for thirty or forty years. Or, one of us dies amidst or before that romantic time. Or, he keeps believing he does not love me. Or or or. Having “previews” doesn’t avail me of knowledge of my future the way I would like it to, most of the time. I only get glimpses, pieces, fragments. They’re out of sequence, incomplete, and, as I explain frequently, difficult to interpret and understand. Plus, WHICH future am I seeing? How many factors change, timelines re-braid, diverge? I am considering all of this and the ways these complicate my writing, when I feel that pleasant sense of anticipation and greeting that accompanies a visit from one of the Band. I look towards my front door. Even though they’re holograms, they already learn, from me, that the convention of entering through the front door works best for Earthers (versus just appearing, or moving through a wall or ceiling). Most of the time, they follow this convention. Having no corporeal presence, they can’t knock, so Led makes his version of a throat-clearing noise, something I suggest to them early on, to let me know where they are and when they arrive. I acknowledge his presence mentally, then say aloud: “Hi! What’s new?” “Hello, Clara,” Led greets me. It takes a few visits, but they all finally call me just “Clara,” which I prefer. “We receive a distress signal and I am the first to respond.” “Distress?” I ask. “From where or whom?” “From you,” Led replies. “Your thoughts and ruminations send out signals to us at all times, you know, especially when they’re disorganized, confused, angry, sad, scared, or otherwise off balance. These are interpreted as ‘distress,’” Led tells me, hovering closer to me and exuding that calming effect he can turn on at will. “If we scan the content and believe we can be helpful, one or more of us comes to work with you, immediately.” “Oh,” I say, sounding overly bright, to myself, “like a ‘Bat signal’?” “Great. I can’t even freak out privately any more.” I turn towards Led’s hovering, blue-grey, ovoid image and ask: “How am I supposed to cope with all of these changes and possibilities, alterations in timelines, variations in versions, without contemplating and then emoting upon my considerations? I have no Earthers I can ask, or process all of this with, you know,” I remind him of my isolation and uniqueness here. Two more “bleeps” indicate Janis and Diana are now here as well. I must be more upset that I realize. Janis moves towards me, with Diana right behind her. They’re not usually more than a few centimeters apart, even in hologram forms. I feel a spark of envy of their pair bond. “What will I do if I never have a partner? It’s bad enough that I might be without Epifanio, except as a distant friend, but will I have no one else?” I startle myself by saying this aloud. “And,” I continue, feeling the immensely strong upsurge of my many questions, emotions, and disturbances, which I must have suppressed up until now, “I need processing time, partners or counselors—help—to become the best CC I can be. I am quite cooperative and willing, but you must understand that this is all very strange, new, and unnerving for me. I need time and space, phases and methods to assist me with adjusting.” Janis and Diana seem to exchange an unspoken communication, and Led weighs in, bouncing a bit, then he says: “Clara, we are very glad that this is happening, now. We are wondering what took so long for your reaction to occur.”
Posted on: Wed, 04 Sep 2013 09:42:49 +0000