Excerpt from IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES (on sale for 99cents everywhere) Josh tensed, his body still as a statue the moment he opened his eyes again and found himself in the church, everyone he loved sitting in pews in front of his casket, his photo on an easel surrounded by flowers. He never thought he’d see this moment. Everyone mourning him. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. None of this should be happening. He wanted to reach out and yank on everyone’s sleeve like a toddler, demanding their attention to tell them he was there, he wasn’t dead. He wasn’t gone. He was just…stuck. Tears burned his eyes, and he brushed them angrily away. He hated the sadness on everyone’s faces. The feel of the loss in that room was palpable. It burned its way through him, making his entire being ache. This was a step too far, having to see Avery suffer through this, not to mention Blake and his parents. “Can we go?” Gabriel studied him. “I thought you wanted to be here for her.” “I do…” But everyone had a breaking point, and this moment right here was awfully close to his. He followed a group of people up the aisle, wanting to get close to her. He knew Gabriel stayed behind, granting him some semblance of space, of privacy. He saw her sitting up front, the somber black dress making her appear all the more pale, all the more fragile. He moved around a couple of people whispering in the aisle, their gazes turned towards her. Josh heard the murmuring of the word baby, and his hands tightened into fists automatically. “You should stay.” Gabriel’s voice sounded in his head, as clear as if he stood beside him. Why? Josh thought as he rounded the pew and walked by his brothers. Alec sat beside her, his head bowed as he played with the cell phone in his hand. He recognized the bandage on his brother’s knuckles from where he’d punched the wall. His sweet younger brother who wasn’t prone to having a temper, who rarely got mad or raised his voice, had taken his anger and frustration out on his bedroom wall, putting a good dent in the drywall which he’d hastily covered up with a poster, not wanting to have to explain it to anyone. Josh had never felt more helpless. Hopeless. This was going too far. He needed Avery to know this wasn’t real. It wasn’t. It was…limbo, some strange in between where he and everyone he loved was being held, tested in, waiting for someone to make a decision.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 20:10:00 +0000
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