Excerpt from my upcoming book on Marriage. To be published soon by Xulon Press!. Marriage: Never a Bed of Roses, but You can make it be. SubTitle: Making Marriages Work and Building Stable Families By Noyo Anthonia Kubeyinje-Edem. The Storm Does not last Forever: Marital storms are real and they may occur when least expected, but the couple that wants his marriage to succeed must be prepared to sail through the storm and remain strong and united as one after the storm. Every marriage has its own ups and downs; moments of great excitement, joy, fulfillment and family celebration and also moments of sadness, arguments, strife and unhappiness. The marriage does not come crumbling down because there is a misunderstanding or a storm of disagreement in the home. Some couples who have separated or divorced would have still been together today if they realized that the storm would not range on forever in their relationship. The storm escalates for a while and deescalates by the grace of God. Consequently, even during a storm in the home the couple that has faith can see beyond the storm to envision a season of calmness and peace. Hence it will be wrong to make any hasty decisions when the storm ranges because the decisions will be made with the wrong motives that will not benefit anyone in the family. Therefore, the wise couple bears the stress of storm and waits for the cooling off period as the couple continues with their relationship. We should reflect on the times we had our arguments with our own siblings when we were growing up and although we had our disagreements with our siblings, we continued to live in the same home under our parent. Married couple should think about each other as brothers and sisters as this will help to stabilize the home when there is a storm in the family. Every disagreement in the marriage does not mean that the couple does not love each other. Disagreement should be viewed positively as opportunities for the couple to know themselves better and exchange views about each other. It should also be a time for the union to advance to the next level because people grow when they are able to overcome a disagreement. The couple will begin to identify the habits that are offensive and should not be practiced in the home and build their family on those habits that will help the marriage to grow stronger. We learn from our experiences and marriage is a life full of experiences that we can learn real life lessons from. Therefore we should be thankful to God for every day we are able to live in peace. Couples who have been married for years will be thankful to God when they reflect on their experiences because they know that God has helped them to overcome all the trials they have passed through in life. These couples can also attest to the fact that their love for each other has grown stronger as the years roll by in their relationship. While marriage may not be a bed or roses, married couples can make their marriage as beautiful as they want them to be. It all depends on what the couples want for themselves and their families and also on their understanding of the purpose of God for their union. A Very Serious Commitment: In whatever way we may choose to view a marriage relationship, it is by all means a very serious commitment which the couple must be determined to make succeed. Therefore, marriage is not a relationship for people who just want to marry to try out marriage to see if it is meant for them. Before marriage, most churches have preparatory classes which the couple attends during their courtship period and these classes are meant to teach the couple the virtues of a Christian marriage. Those intending to get married should be encouraged to attend these classes because they will become equipped with some of the skills they need in their marriage. These classes also give the attendees insights into some of the problems in marriage and explore practical ways to solve the problems. Marriage is a relationship with a very serious commitment; therefore be committed to making your marriage work; be committed to your family no matter how difficult this maybe; be committed even if your partner does not understand your vision. You should pray to God to help your partner to understand his or her role in this relationship and to see the union the way God sees it. You should be committed to your marriage because you know that your blessing is tied to your marriage and Satan will do everything to stop you from receiving your blessings. Consequently, you should not give Satan the weapon he is looking for to fight you and destroy your destiny. Stand firm and walk over the storm and be ready to claim your blessings. Marriage is a serious commitment because God becomes a partner in the marriage once the husband and the wife take their vows. Furthermore, the Holy Spirit is present in a home where the couple acknowledges God and he helps the couple to walk through life victoriously. If God is present in a home, love will reign in the home instead of hatred and the love of God will make it easy for the couple to forgive one another. Hebrews 10:19-22(NIV) 9 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:11:25 +0000
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