Expensive Perfume A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to the old Italian woman on the elevator with her and says arrogantly, Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce! Another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce! About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, looks both beautiful women in the eye, turns, bends over, and farts. Broccoli - 49 cents a pound. How True it is A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. Oh, well never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship, the husband explained. She was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. She communicates well and I act like Im listening. Why Men Lie One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, Why are you crying? The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe. Is this your axe? the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, No. The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. Is this your axe? the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, No. The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. Is this your axe? the Lord asked. Yes, he replied. The Lord was pleased with the mans honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy. Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, Why are you crying? Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water! The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie. Is this your wife? the Lord asked. Yes, cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. You lied! That is an untruth! The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is misunderstanding. You see, if I had said no to Angelina Jolie, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said no to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said yes, you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I dont want her to share me with anyone, so THATS why I said yes to Angelina Jolie. The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.. MOSTLY his wife!
Posted on: Sat, 15 Mar 2014 01:37:29 +0000
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