Expressions NEN NEN always told me not to eat too much ASHAM because ah go PUFF. She told me that ah was too LICKRISH and me eyes always making GREE GREE for food. Well, ah put ah BUNLOAD ah licks on the ASHAM, but thank PAPA GAWD, ah never PUFF. And the ripe FIG that COMPERE TIG told me not to eat in the hot sun was my favorite. Ah ate so many of DEM, but they never KNOCK ME DOWN as people warned. Teresita peeped through her window once and told me not to suck so many mangoes because ah go get SHITTINGS and BILE. Well. ah suck mangoes as if they put LITE on me, but ah never got SHITTINGS. Ah even suck dem juicy mangoes that the CONGOREE bite. MACMERE Phillip once told me ah that ah looked like AH WOODEN JUDGE IN AH RAM GOAT SESSION. Ah still dont know what that meant. And when ah woke up in the morning and a little cold sore was on me mouth, they told me that CACAROACH KISSED ME and ah resembled AH JUMBIE BEAD. They told me to wash me face and take out the KAKAJAY from me eyes and the BRIDLE from me mouth. Then ah took ah quick quick bath under the pipe outside and they told me ah took AH GEORGE OTWAY. But yuh cant blame me. The pipe was in the middle of the yard and ah din want dem FASS people to MACO me POLICE. So ah bounced up ah TAYBAE woman. She said, WHA YUH watching me for? Ah replied, “JOOK OUT ME EYE NAH!? She said I was BARRING her and asked me, YUH FADDAH IS AH GLASS MAKER? Ah replied, OH GORM, OOMAN. AH TIEF YUH WHITE FOWL? She then said, MACO, DEY SEN YUH FOR ME. TELL DEM YUH EN SEE ME. Ah said, “LEH ME GO ME WAY. EH IS ME YUH HA STRENGTH ON? Her final words: YUH GO MISS ME, OUI. YUH LOOK LIKE AH DRY OCHRO STICK and ah JUMBIE! Just then ah big political meeting was taking place. All KINDA WASH YUH FOOT AND COME were assembled. Two rotten eggs whizzed by. Ah BAWLED OUT. RUCTION IN DE PLACE! If that continued it was BYE BYE BLAKEY for me. LAWD, IT WAS FIRE IN THE CONGO! But the politician kept using some big HENGGIBBIT words like he SWALLOWED AH DICTIONARY. An OLE RUMBO from Marshalls rumshop looked at him and shouted, PREACH IT, BRUDDAH! PREACH IT! DAT IS NOT MAN TALKING DEY. DAT IS MAN PUPPA! Someone asked him if he was from BAHOE and showed him where the church was. Sometimes, when we were going through the door, we looked back and remarked, AH COMING EH. We are coming when we are going. And sometimes we sat in a corner like POOR ME ONE and with faces like WHAT SHALL I DO? Ah held on to me GAL and went inside the house. Me friends got vex and asked me if AH HA BIRD IN CAGE. Man, if yuh see me, BREEZE CYAN PASS. Who ah BOUNCED UP when ah came outside, but FADDAH PRIEST. He told me that he was shocked that AH LEGGO AH BIG ONE in church so close to the pulpit. He told me if that continued, he GO GEE me something to CORK ME. Then ah made up me mind that no one would catch me with dem little tricks they tried on me. Vero caught me once. She made ah fist with she hand and told me to pinch the spot by the pinky finger. When I did she laughed, AH HA! YUH PINCHED FOWL BAM BAM DAT BUGGA! Anthony Wendell DeRiggs
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 12:26:43 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015