FACEBOOK I suppose face-book has a couple of redeeming uses but none that could outshine its blaringly obvious function as a piece of evil propriety malware. Having splashed around in its shallow end for a few weeks I have made discoveries that at first were quite alarming but with hindsight proved to be quite useful. The first thing one becomes aware of is that your friends, friends possibly without exception are the most hardened dullards this side of the Pennines. … people who are complete and utter thermos flasks….left to their own devices they will happily post photographs of themselves holding their favourite long playing record or shoe… this single action has a ripple effect through- out the fibre-optic neurotic-superhighway… unleashing a tsunami of similar Anal-graphs in response… Within seconds, they are posting pictures of cup-cakes, ugly babies (that they think are cute) or the three most badly arranged letters in the English language, LOL….these letters are invariably tagged to a photo of a cat doing something of world importance… friends and work colleagues, with whom you have shared some of your most intimate secrets turn out to have the intellectual capacity of a bag of oven chips and the sense of humour of a custard pie. Daily comes the requests from friends of so-called friends to become your friends, that little red number continues to grow till you eventually have more requests for friendship than you have actual friends…like ripples in sewage treatment tank they slosh up against the sides and fold in on themselves to form a froth of odious proportion… If they’re not posting pictures of feline banality then its amateurish attempts at photo-shopped humour that serve to remind you, that one is communicating with an idiot of historical proportions. How did you meet these human flotsam?…how did they wash up on your shoreline? All over the globe there are depressed people sitting at terminals questioning their own judgement as the reality dawns on them, that if all their friends are knob-ends then its more than likely that they too are a purple-veined helmet of the highest order? Friends are ok, but they are better at a distance….nice when they pop round for a while, but to see what passes for thought the rest of the day is tedious beyond description…in the future we will all have 15 minutes of privacy, which should be long enough to wipe out all trace of your face-book profile and take up something a little less secretarial. ps: this is not about YOU
Posted on: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 22:12:18 +0000
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