FAKING NEWS:- Congress announces a separate Ministry to deal with Narendra Modi:- New Delhi: Just two weeks after the anointment of Narendra Modi as Prime Ministerial candidate by Bhartiya Janata Party, Congress has announced a new ministry, Ministry of Modi Affairs, to deal with him. For the Congress, responding to Modi’s diatribe has, evidently, become an uphill task. Modi’s quest to occupy national stage, through the effective use of social media and rightwing digital media platform, has seen Congress scrambling to gain expertise. And given the persistence and sharpness of Modi’s verbal onslaught, the Congress, thanks to a hyperactive media, has been coerced into forming a separate Ministry to calibrate the message. Narendra Modi “Why can’t they just ban Modi?” wondered some Srinivasan, a well known anti-Modi element. “We can’t pretend Modi does not exist. He is not Manmohan Singh”, said Congress spokesman Manish Tewari. “He is a riot-winged right-winged fundamentalist. He knows his onions”, Tewari sneered. When Faking News reporter asked if Modi’s elevation as BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate was a threat, his exact words were, “Talk to the hand”, which was accompanied by the related body language, plausibly referring to the election symbol of Congress. Deviating from the traditional way of handling an issue where Congress used to condemn and get away with it, Congress Core Committee, this time, has mulled over developing an expertise in talking nonsense to counter Modi’s argument and has, therefore unanimously, found Congress General Secretary Digvijay Singh to be the best fit for the ministry. Nevertheless, a sharp retort from the opposition was soon in sight, and a very articulate Arun Jaitley said, “Digvijay Singh is such a pain in the CongrASS Congress”. He, then, corrected the pronunciation and winked. Sushma Swaraj, the Leader of Opposition in Lok Sabha, on the other hand, has welcomed this move. “Even we are thinking of opening a party post to neutralize Advani’s wrath.” On being asked if not selecting Advani as PM candidate was suicidal, she ridiculed, “Yes, suicidal for Advani ji”. “We could have announced Advani’s name as the PM candidate but he wanted us to straight declare him the Prime Minister.” she confessed. “But, he is still our pathfinder. After all, he is our tallest leader.” she obliged. When the reports last came in, Rahul Gandhi was seen with an inch tape to find out the tallest leader of Congress. Faking News, however, could not validate the source.
Posted on: Sun, 29 Sep 2013 06:50:34 +0000
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