FEAR OF COMMITMENT? It’s natural to have fear when getting into a relationship. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. Within every relationship, there is a chance for heartbreak and that scares us. That is a healthy fear. It can protect us. But if that fear is to the point where you are unable to be your authentic self, that fear is unhealthy. Instead of protecting you, it will make you serve time by locking you in your own prison. I think many are able to be their Solid Selves in the beginning when the relationship is fun and fresh but then become Pseudo as things become more and more serious and the chance of pain becomes greater. Because you are now maneuvering in Pseudo, a fearful version of yourself, the person your partner was initially attracted to is now gone. The longer you stay in this bubble of fear, the more you will cripple the relationship. Soon, the relationship will have no legs or a broken one and it will collapse. Can you relate to this? Is this a pattern for you? So what do you do? First, you have to ask yourself where the fear is coming from, this inability to trust. Maybe from your upbringing, relationship with dad, mom, both? But most likely the pain / suffering / trauma you experienced from your previous relationships. Your heart has been burned before. It doesn’t want to touch that stove again no matter how much you try to convince it that it’s not on. Your heart is trying to protect you without realizing that it’s actually hurting you. What allows you to fully love another being is the very thing that’s preventing you from doing so. We have to start exploring the fear, accepting it, resolving it, and redefining it. We have to turn it on its head and take the power back. To do so, it all starts with self. Before trusting others, you must trust yourself. You must trust your truth, protect yourself, speak up for yourself, validate yourself, know what you need, how you want to be treated, and execute that, continuously, over and over until it becomes easier for you. This is the beginning. And it’s a process. The stronger you get at this, the more you’ll be able to trust others. But more importantly, be your Solid Self in relationships. If you don’t want to have a fear of commitment, you must first tackle the fear of being you. - Angry
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 22:49:47 +0000
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