FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN AND FEAR OF TOMORROW “How can I marry now, how will she feed?” “Let me gather some things first and be stable, then marriage” You cannot gather forever. This was a common feedback after the first part of this discourse was published. When my Uncles and aunties were getting married, it was very common to see people who went back school to further their education after marriage. Now, that is an aberration. People not only want to have all the degrees (as many as three) before they start looking for a partner, they even want to work, make “some money” and be “comfortable”. How can you wait till you are comfortable? Usually, the first two major windows of marriage would have closed by then. Unfortunately, social media and reality shows lay so much emphasis on material acquisition that we have come to believe that if we don’t accumulate, we cannot have a good marriage. I have seen people work as basic civil servants in public service all their lives lead and build very successful homes. The rich also cry and riches don’t guarantee love nor does not insure against divorce. The effect that money has on marriage is not a function of its volume but how the couples manage it. Three months to my wedding, I had no apartment to bring my wife into. I did not have a “serious” car and the one I had was given by the company to use as a pool car five months before my wedding. I finally found a very small and cramped apartment at the edge of town with no furniture after serious praying and fasting for days. However, I knew the date was not going to change. We had counselors who believed in us. That matters too! My fiancée then (my wife now) seats on the mattress that I had to put on the living room floor when she visits. I can’t remember her fuming because she also surrounded herself with “common sense” and “non- facebook” friends. How old was facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg then? Take care of now, let tomorrow take care of itself. If you want to wait till you have millions in the account before you consider marriage seriously – you will be on your own! Marriage has a way of stabilizing couples to be more productive and make more money ultimately and keep it! It’s been proven statistically that one of the key success factors for very wealthy people is that they are married and usually that they stayed married. God has not given you the spirit of fear. Make the move now! If you are in the window for marriage, learn from the errors of the people gone by and make amends and do what is proper and best for your future. If you have passed your prime, don’t lose hope. If you know someone or you are the one who is past your prime and would like to share your story.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 04:03:29 +0000