FINANCIAL FLU By Muyiwa Afolabi I have a friend whom Ive observed for quite a while now. She is a very outgoing individual. Happy go lucky, friendly, jovial and full of life. She is also a hardworking, dedicated and serious minded business woman. Shes most of the time on the road or in the air; travelling from place to place including Senegal, Morocco, Mali, Turkey, Tunisia and Italy looking for the next trending fashion goods and commodity to buy and sell. She is quite enterprising and her temperament has opened several doors for her in many places and with several well to do personalities, hence, she sells off most of her wares even before delivery. She is doing quite well; lovely cars and a beautiful house; Amina is rich. However, despite her very good looks; lovely skin, bright eyes, long curly dark hair, wonderful figure, good height and honey smooth voice; she has an acute inferiority complex. This is Amina my friend with an Arabian bloodline thats made her beauty so rare and so in your face. She stands out every time, everywhere, yet she has this high degree of inferiority complex. My friend is always desperately seeking for attention and approval. She is overly worried and bothered about the opinion of others. She needs reassurance about how good she looks, how well shes doing, how kind and warm and friendly she can be and how shes generally a nice person. She cant handle a negative remark, statement or comment about her irrespective of the source. She wants everyone to like her, appreciate her, accept her, praise her and be at peace with her. If you want to manipulate Amina or take advantage of her just bring up an accusation against her as flimsy as when you greeted her she didnt respond well; immediately she would begin to feel bad and unhappy. Then shell want to make it up to you in any way she could. Many of her so called friends have cheated her and taken advantage of this weakness so often that at times I get very angry at her. Ladies and gentlemen, even at this youve not heard the worst about this my wonderful friend. Apart from the fact that she keeps giving out very large sums of money and personal belongings including expensive wristwatches, gold, phones and clothing to bad friends and fake friends to retain and sustain the so called friendship and attention, Amina exhibits a very extreme behaviour to rejection, hurt, disappointments and bad news. She finds it very difficult handling any negative emotional state. Every time shes hurt, unhappy or disappointed she makes up for it by immediate reckless spending. Its as if this negative emotion triggers off a ‘buy everything’ button in her brain. Amina would just begin to spend. Buying many stupid things she doesnt really need at ridiculous prices. When Amina is depressed, she hits the market, the shopping mall, in fact the whole street buying everything in sight. Clothes, shoes, bags, jewelleries, phones, electronics, underwear, veils, cosmetics, even car tyres, car batteries, rechargeable lanterns, laptops anything she fancies. She would hardly negotiate, she would just keep buying. Until the whole negative feeling wares of or that melancholy state subsides. Amina, on the account of this weakness has wasted a lot of money buying so many things she didnt need or want and eventually giving everything out when shes happier. This habit unfortunately, has seriously retarded the growth and expansion of her business. Amina has got what I call the financial flu. There are some of us who find it hard to contain or manage effectively a negative experience, a trying time or emotional turmoil; hence some react through heavy drinking, smoking, over eating and intercourse. These are common and obvious vices that is easily associated with a state of anxiety or depression and many psychologist and individuals have tried treating and supporting people reacting in this manner to a state of depression. But hardly do we see or identify a deliberate effort or attempt to help individuals who react to unpleasant moments with unguarded and unnecessary heavy spending. Maybe its because you can only exhibit this trait when you have a lot of money, but Ive often heard people with no so much money also say to themselves when bored or depressed that theyre going window shopping. This may be indicative of such a weakness. My dear friend, are you a carrier of financial flu? Is your immediate reaction to depression, loneliness, hurt or pain shopping? Do you go shopping because you have a need or you go shopping to help your bad mood, emotional state; just to be happier? Is spontaneous and reckless spending your escape when youre unhappy? Dear friend, it is not a good thing; youre a carrier of the financial flu virus. You may need help. My dear friend, when your love life isnt going right and you lose a very valuable intimacy please dont escape with reckless spending it ultimately leaves you worse off at the end of the day. When youre lonely, upset, depressed, disappointed, despised, undervalued, rejected and pushed out of relevance please dont spend on things you dont need because you think itll make you feel better, truth is youll consequently be worse of – broke, busted and out! Should anyone treat you wrong for any reason at all, try separating your person from the issue. Make sure you bring objectivity into the matter. If youve been jilted by a lover or gone through a divorce for instance, I assure you it has nothing to do with you as a human being. It doesnt make you less human or inferior to others who appear to be getting it right, because both you and those that appear to be getting it right all still have weaknesses and are imperfect, thats why we are all human beings not absolute spirits. Dont attack yourself or the other person, remove the personalities and look at the issues bringing about the separation more critically, at the end of the day youll discover its more of a compatibility challenge or a tolerance issue That your negative or weakness or habit that your ex couldnt stand or tolerate, I assure you theres someone out there, much better in every aspect than your ex who wouldnt mind and would love you much more in spite of these flaws. So its really not about you personally, its about finding the right person for you. This I must warn is not then an excuse not to want to change, its an admonition to focus more on the issues than you as a person, deal with the issue, and stop punishing yourself. When people hurt you or reject you, the best revenge is to identify the reason why and be that which they never thought youll become. If anyone rejects you because they think youre a failure, the best revenge is to become successful, if anyone rejects you because they think youre broke, the best revenge is to become rich, if anyone rejects you because they think youll never make a good spouse, the best revenge is to marry and treat your partner nicer than their own spouse is treating them. If anyone hurts you deliberately; forgive them then walk away. Forgiveness is not stupidity. It is better to avoid such people than to keep struggling with non-forgiveness over and over again. Dont be desperate for anyones, attention or friendship, set you free. Please stop spending your hard earned cash to retain and maintain relationship with your so called friends and family. The best approach to dealing with people as such, especially those you cant do away with like relatives is having something else they need apart from cash, like contacts, connection, fame, a good name, a good reputation and influence. Let them be proud they are connected or related to you. Get rid of your financial flu virus. Deal with the issue, be strong. Enjoy your day!
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 07:50:05 +0000
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