FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS The boy asked me, “What happened to your eye?” I said, “I got hurt really bad in a war.” He looked puzzled, so he followed up with, “You got a wart on your eye?” I couldn’t stop laughing… Most people do not want to draw attention to their flaws. At the same time, most people don’t try to embarrass others by pointing out their flaws, either. It’s all part of the social contract. We wait our turn… We don’t stare... We stay in our lane when driving… We don’t ask potentially embarrassing questions… It’s all done in the interest of being polite (or safe). I catch people staring at me all the time. They look away as soon as I catch their eye. I get it, and I try to follow this rule as well. I like it when people break this particular rule, though, because it also breaks a social barrier and we can see each other as real people. I love the question “what happened?,” and love the follow-up questions even more. Often we can assume we know someone’s story based on what we see on the surface, but we can also be surprised by the answer to our questions. It can be a victory on both sides when we decide to go a little deeper than the surface, and by breaking this part of the contract. We can be touched by the connection that results as well.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Aug 2013 11:33:55 +0000
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