FOR LAUGHS, if it can make any sense to you. SOCIALISM: You have two cows, you give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM: You have two cows, the State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM: You have two cows, the State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM: You have two cows, the State takes both and shoot you. BUREAUCRATISM: You have two cows, the State takes both, shoot one, milk the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income: ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM: You have two cows, you sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new presidential jet of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bulls**t. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes, the government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, you sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead. A GREEK CORPORATION: You have two cows, you borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.You still have only two cows. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows, you go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows, you re-design them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you dont know where they are. You decide to have a beef lunch- not knowing that you are eating your cow killed by the Mafians. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have five thousand cows, none of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows, you have three hundred people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, you worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows, both are mad ! AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows, you tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the s**t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you have Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate only for the Europeans and Asia to ban their ...... A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows, the one on the left looks very attractive, while the other look ... RUSSIA CORPORATION: You have two cows, the government arrests them for being lesbians because one of them is not a bull. IRELAND CORPORATION: You have two cows, they are both drunk with the owner ! NIGERIA CORPORATION: Hello I am the executor of the estate of King Mufafa De 111, he left you his herd of one million cows. Please, contacting me quickly to process your inheritance. In order to receive your cows you must send initial deposit of $100,000 dollars via western union. Now, the big question ! Assuming these cows belong to PDP, APC or FGN, what will be the reaction of the opposing political party(ies) and the main opposition party in any given time ? Assuming these cows are in custody of NNPC, NPF, CBN, Ministry of Niger Delta or CBN, what do you think will happen ? Place the same cows in Northern or Southern region, or in our education system or judiciary and feel the reaction of others.Why? MERRY WEEKEND.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 14:54:19 +0000
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