FOR THE SAKE OF GIRLS EVERYWHERE For a long time now I’ve been way into social justice, especially the empowerment of girls and women. I’ve traveled to places like Nepal, South Sudan and India where I danced with women who are overcoming unspeakable oppression. I’ve also grown up in the church, studied at seminary and served as a leader; and so here too I’ve faced unfavorable confrontation, especially when I’m audacious enough to suggest that the Divine is also Feminine. My approach in the past was not exactly subtle. In fact, I often referred to myself as defiant, as one who would stand up to “the man” and tell it the way it is. There is something bold and brave about this approach. Being able to stand on my ground, claim my place of belonging, and take what comes my way. I justified my actions and approach because I was doing what was RIGHT. Right? My words were for righteousness sake, how can that be “wrong?” OH sure I wasn’t always so invitational for the men who were hardcore patriarchs. But “who cares,” I thought, “they aren’t ready for the truth—and so that’s their burden to bear. Forget them. Their angry reaction to me is their shit, not my shit, eh?” Yes and no. As I dove deep into some childhood wounds, I discovered some things that give me a different perspective today. When my parents divorced and my father quickly married another woman, I totally thought, as most children do, “What did I do wrong?” And so in order to be loved, I learned then that I had to be right and perfect in order to be loved. And so I’ve been all about perfection and excellence. All about doing what’s right. On an unconscious level, being perfect and doing right is how I received Love. The work of social justice was the perfect disguise. I could tell myself that I was doing this righteous work for the sake of the world; and so by whatever means, I had to do what needed to be done for the sake of girls and women everywhere. Well, actually, as it turns out, it was all for this girl . . . my 11-year-old girl whose daddy left her. My work of social justice wasn’t out of love, it was for love. If I just did the “right thing,” they would all love me. In the throes of my spiritual crisis this past year, I remember walking around for three days, and no matter what anyone said, all I could hear was, “I did something wrong.” I did something wrong, that’s why my life is falling apart. I did something wrong, that’s why my partner left me. I did something wrong, that’s why I can’t find work. I did something wrong, that’s why I hit the red light. I did something wrong, that’s why it’s raining outside. It’s all I heard for three days. On the third day, I was sobbing on the floor. And it’s then when my friend Christy said to me in her pure unconditional presence, “You did nothing wrong, Elizabeth.” And in that instant, I felt this huge release. The childhood wound I had carried for so long was being washed away. This release set me on a new path. Realizing I did nothing wrong, I began to see the world differently. In the eyes of Spirit, I could never do anything wrong (and neither can you). Every circumstance, every condition and every choice can be used for our greater good. As my friend Anna Lisa says, “there is no waste.” The Universe isn’t working against me, it’s working for me. And my dad leaving took me on a journey to finding my own self (never mind all the subsequent relationships of men who left me, too!). To discovering a fantastic Love within me. It was my path to take, and it was perfect in every way. And so now, filled with a love for myself—no longer needing someone or some system outside of myself to love me—I can offer a WHOLE new perspective on social justice. I’m realizing that we’re all in this together. Girls have been taught one way to seek worthiness in society, and boys have been taught a whole other way. We’ve all been conditioned to live under an illusion of separation. And now is the time to see that at the end of the day, we all just want to be loved, boys and girls, men and women alike. And so now, it is from this place that I speak my Truth . . . in LOVE.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Jul 2013 00:53:39 +0000
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