FRIDAY 12th DECEMBER 1997: I felt really rough at work today - not surprising on three hours sleep. Id walked up with Ben and lent him my jacket. Joly had given Rob a love bite and was quite proud, although to me it looked like a slight rash. Maybe mine were just too severe by comparison. We had a laugh behind customer services, dancing and crazy-singing to the cheesy pop choons on the stereo. Back home, I wrote some diary and watched the Pops. I was *TOTALLY* stressed out, thinking about the Ben situation. What have I got myself into? It wasnt supposed to happen like this. He wasnt meant to like me this much. Things werent meant to seem so probably long term. When we part, its gonna be me doing it. Not him. Hes gonna be devastated. I cant do that to someone. And how can I even talk to God during this? If I go to church, Ill get the strength I need to finish it and be on Gods side. But Bens so sensitive and I do like him, but I cant say I love him like he does me. If it ended tomorrow, Id walk away with no feelings of longing for him or anything. Only concern about how Ive crushed somebody. Anyway, I felt really stressed about this but had calmed down by the time Id walked to his house. We watched This Life together that Id brought over. I stayed distant from him at first, letting him start the touching. His hair smelt like Daz! I told him and he was like: Thanks. I then added: No wonder your hairs whiter than white! Bastard. I told him hed have to watch out as theres a freak started work with us called Dominic and hes rargh! Hello!! And so we went upstairs and stayed together. We fell asleep together after listening to Duran Durans Wedding Album. It sounded like typical Duran Duran but not good enough to buy. I chose it for Come Undone. Its nice just falling asleep together. Once Im on my way, five seconds and Im gone! youtu.be/ICnlyNUt_0o
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 13:47:07 +0000
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