FROM A MAN: Dear Zane, I am married, and I am a father of 5. Biologically, I am the father of 3. I have taken the responsibility of being a father to my daughter older sibling even though her mother and I were never in a relationship, and I have a step-daughter. The problem I am having is with my wife having a problem with me still taking the roll of being a father to the girl and even though her biological father is around, I am all she knows. I refuse to put anybody before my kids.... Including my wife. You can always replace a wife, but you can never replace your kid(s). I do not want to lose my marriage over this, and I am trying to come to a common ground without saying forget it, and move on from my marriage. I know you may say it seem like I know what I may have to do, but I just want to see am I wrong for being a father to a child that did not ask to have dead beat biological parents? MY RESPONSE: I commend you for not letting the children down. Your wife is simply going to have to understand or make her own decision about whether or not to remain in the marriage. A lot of people believe that the spouse should come before children but I am with you. No man will ever come before my children. No, you are not wrong for being a father to her. You are a blessing to that child and you have and will continue to make a major difference in her life. I would not see that as a negative in a man. I would see that as a positive trait in a man. You may need to go to marriage counseling with your wife. She has no issue with you being a stepfather to her daughter but wants you to discard another daughter that you have claimed as yours. Good luck but I would not walk away from that little girl either.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 15:15:47 +0000
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