FROM THE INBOX!!!!!! Vent/Advise My S/O (we are not married) was stationed in Japan (for the next two years) in August. The “plan” was for me to come over in the first couple of weeks in December and stay for the allotted 90 days to visit. In that time, I was to try to find a job that will sponsor me for a work visa so I can stay the remainder of his two years with him. Now, I am already familiar with the in’s and out’s of trying to find a job that will sponsor me, I have already talked with the Japanese consulate and all that, and I also am aware that it is a very long shot. However, nothing will be lost by trying, and we are just that stubborn, so I am going to give it an attempt. Here is a little history about me before I continue to help you better understand my situation. I am 28 yo and I am a 911 Emergency Dispatcher. I work at a small department that is understaffed and we work a lot. I work anywhere from 48-74 hours a week, 12+ hour over nights from 1600-0400 ish. I work hard; make a very good wage with a pretty good benefit/vacation/comp/sick time/retirement package. I have put in for a leave of absence per our union contract; however I am doubtful it will be granted. We have another dispatcher that is potentially leaving in a couple of weeks to go to another department and that loss in itself will leave a huge gap in our department. There is a good chance that even if I am not granted the leave of absence, that I may be hired back at the department if I have to return after the 90 days. I am already paid for, fully trained and my bi-yearly certifications will all be freshly renewed by the end of this month. However, nothing is promised. All of this being said, I am making the choice to give up my entire life to go over to Japan to visit with my S/O and attempt to stay and live there with him. This is both of our decisions, but ultimately mine. And while I still stand by this decision, it is scary. I am giving up my entire career. I am new to the military life, in the sense of being an S/O. And just some brief info about my S/O. He is 30 yo, has been in a little over 9 yrs and is an E7. This is his first time getting stationed overseas and this is also his first serious relationship. He is a very mature hard working individual and never had the “time” for anything serious before and never found someone worth it. He is now at the point in his life, and career, for the next step, and thankfully, we found each other. I have never been in a relationship with anyone in the military and there is so much that is new to me (and even my S/O) in this experience. What I need advise with is this. I was speaking with him this morning and he told me that there is a 95% chance they will be on shore for the holiday seasons, but that more than likely they will be getting sent out to sea in the first couple weeks of January. My last day at work is December 6th. That means I would only have about a month with him before he is sent out to sea. My heart just about broke when he told me that. Realizing and understanding that all these “plans” are tentative because anything could change at any second, the “plan” has always been for me to stay at least the whole allotted 90 days. Now I don’t know what to do. I cannot really leave my job any sooner. They are already losing one person which will cripple the department; losing two is going to just about kill them. If I knew for sure that I wasn’t coming back, I really wouldn’t care as much and I would just get done at my job at least a month earlier (that’s not true, I really would care, they are good people, but I am trying to focus on my life ultimately). But I can’t screw the department over and then expect to come back in 90 days and get my job back. I also don’t know now if I should stay the whole 90 days if my S/O isn’t even going to be there. It is such a double-edged sword. On one hand, I can stay the 90 days and continue looking for a job that will sponsor me and put in all the effort I can, knowing I interrogated every resource until the end. On the other hand, I am only allowed two 90 day visits in one year. If I leave and return to the states after my S/O ships out, I can “stockpile” the number of days I am allowed in the country to visit. The only problem with this theory is that I still have bills to pay and need an income, I can’t keep coming and going between Japan and the States without a job, nor can I keep jerking around the job I have. Ugh. I am so confused now. Please, ANY words of advice (please no negative comments) would be VERY much appreciated!! Thank you in advance! Lets try to help her out! Only positive comments please!!!~Anna :)
Posted on: Sun, 22 Sep 2013 03:06:17 +0000
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