Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are lavish and deceitful. Proverbs 27:6 Amplified Bible As I wrote this (Proverbs 27 corresponding to the 27th of the month) I thought that Matthew Henrys Commentary best summed up todays Proverb. I dont believe it was affected by any denominational influence or the personal convictions of the commentator. It is good for us to be reproved, and told of our faults, by our friends. If true love in the heart has but zeal and courage enough to show itself in dealing plainly with our friends, and reproving them for what they say and do amiss, this is really better, not only than secret hatred (as Lev. 19:17), but than secret love, that love to our neighbours which does not show itself in this good fruit, which compliments them in their sins, to the prejudice of their souls. Faithful are the reproofs of a friend, though for the present they are painful as wounds. It is a sign that our friends are faithful indeed if, in love to our souls, they will not suffer sin upon us, nor let us alone in it. This Proverb goes hand-in-hand with many previous comments on being vulnerable! I think that everybody has been affected by the Facebook phenomena......people who call themselves friends from behind a computer, and then mask their true feelings with words hidden in deeper meanings...pride, sarcasm, gossip and deceit. We know that real love seeks the best for the other person, and that honesty, in love, will tell the truth, because it IS the truth. How disappointing then for me to be so naive in believing that so many others will speak honestly to me, and then discover that they have gone behind my back to common friends with the intention to undermine me, or Gods ministry through me, by playing the same games that are common to the world. Now I want to make something clear! Let me be transparent in boldly stating that I myself have been guilty of the same! I have become so caught up in emotions at times that I have gossiped and responded out of hurt and anger also. However, my hearts intentions were never malicious, and I assume that others have felt the same. Being trained for a lifetime in observation as an operations manager and entrepreneur has caused me to become a fact gatherer, and together with the Holy Spirit, God has given me some insight into peoples actions. This is still NEVER an excuse to forget that real love doesnt throw stones and to make sure I am self-aware enough to see myself and my motives FIRST in any of MY OWN dealings. I fail often at this in action. Whether it is pride or spiritual blindness, there is immense wisdom in either speaking the truth in love to someone, or making that decision not to speak at all! Too often I have discovered that some who I believed were real friends have gone behind my back, both in real life, or on Facebook, and after kissing me, have proceeded to be deceitful in their words and actions. This is often my own fault! I have been naive, and living in a fantasy world by being lulled into the belief that everybody is my friend! I have a heart that naturally trusts others, (or I was trained this way as a child!), therefore I assume that they also can be trusted. Much to my chagrin, I have discovered that only a select few who ARE real friends feel confident enough to confront me with the truth when they believe I am acting in the flesh, or when I am wrong. How much more satisfying and productive it is for me to know that someone loves me enough to tell me the truth, to my face, and for my OWN good and the good of others that I may influence. They are FAITHFUL friends in doing so, and although I might kick, deny, and scream yeah, but, these few dont kiss my face, and then stab me in the back. Truth IS truth. So how can we simply summarize this wise Proverb, and make it practical in our daily lives? First, let time and actions dictate who your real friends are. We are truly blessed to have a handful of true friends who will tell you the truth in love, and not have a hidden or secret agenda that undermines you. Next, use wisdom, and dont live in a fantasy world or continue to be naive. Not everyone who calls you friend, or even brother or sister has your best interests, or Gods, at heart. People are people. And lastly, although all of my words may seem negative and depressing, I have always realized this. ALL OF US HAVE TRUST ISSUES! The pain, rejection and shame we have all felt to some degree in this wicked world has affected all of us! What a difficult balance......wanting to love and be loved while at the same time cautiously trying to make sure that we are not hurt again, either intentionally or even unintentionally, by people who claim to be a friend, but often end up being used by the enemy and not God, in our lives. Be wise! A real friend takes time to develop. Being nice or seeming good does NOT make someone a friend. Dont be naive.....everyone is not out for YOUR well being. I am blessed with a handful of real friends and I am prosperous spiritually and practically because of them. They dont kiss me and then harm me secretly. And no matter how disdainful their words might affect the fleshly and non-spiritual part of me, I can trust that their words are based on Gods precepts and Gods heart. They are faithful to speak truth into my life, whether I like it or not, while the enemies are driven to be right and to seek their own, and not my best interests. Cautiously approach the goal, and the fine line of being open and transparent in love, while being wise and discerning in who you call a real friend. A great study would be Matthew 10:16, James 3:13 and James 3:16. BIG Blessings today and always. Amazingly, STILL, in HIS grip and grace, Daniel
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:58:03 +0000
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