Family Problems This might be a bit boring since it’s not about sparks and all so I hope you guys bear with me :) I know families have fights and all, its normal I presume...but I dont know if this is really normal or maybe Ive gone numb. When I was a kid I used to go to amazing parties filled with loving relatives which I respected to the utmost. During the holidays, my family and I were always on the move visiting relatives one after another sharing laughter and joy. This year its only I along with my parents, and an amazing extra treat was given to us by a once close relative this New Year! I opened the New Year along with my parents with banging on our front door accompanied by blood curdling insults hurled in a screech-like manner. I mean, damn, yun na siguro yung paputok namin, pagdurog sa inosenteng pinto ng bahay namin na may kasamang mga mura. It all ended with my parents crying in my room asking themselves what theyve done wrong. What happened? Whats with the amazing mood change? Well Christ, dont ask me. Ive pondered about it for years and gave up. As I aged it seems like the relatives or family we had around us started to show their true colors, or maybe I just realized as my brain matured. People I respected started killing (literally) each other for money and property. Drunkard family members (my inspiring grandfather) who brings whores to our house added well to the chaotic situation. People youve taken under your roof because their family cant do squat starts stealing (literally stealing the $) from you. And etc. it was amazing seeing these things,(extreme sarcasm)my mind itself was plunged into a state of enlightenment about this world. As these things passed slowly throughout the years as they came in the form of bloody, physical brawls along with people screeching insults at each other on a weekly to monthly basis. I guess my whole neighborhood got a weekly dramatic and frightening play from my family frequently. Those all started happening as I entered a majestic age of 8 or so…everyone seemed nice and kind till then, I am now at age 18. I seriously dont know if these things are really normal but Ive gotten used to them. Hows that you say? Well I dont flinch or cry anymore when someone starts fighting. I also dont seem to get hurt anymore when no one listens to what I have to say to fix things. I saw how powerless I was and just adjusted to how things were. Its basically part of my life now. But they say life is hard, and you have to adapt to it and so I did. But...why do I feel so different from others, During these holidays I see all these happy Christmas/New Year reunion photos, photos where everyone seems to be full of joy, photos where siblings and cousins seem to cuddle and have fun with each other, photos where...I dont really know the feeling actually, Ive seem to have forgotten how it felt to be in parties and reunions like those. Seeing those pictures...I just keep asking myself...Is it really fine for stuff to be like this? is it normal? Haha I dont really know but seeing pictures of my friends having fun with their family and relatives seem to make my heart warm and happy, I guess that’s enough for me. People usually say these days that Im quite a pessimist and they always call me weird being unsociable...but what can I say...If I cant trust family aside from my mother and father...how can I even trust other people . I never wanted my personality...it kills me to see how much of a loner I am but, it comes voluntarily these days, there’s like these immediate brakes and warnings I get when I meet people. I am now 18 and I spend my holidays praying to have a peaceful December 25 and January 1 celebration along with my mother and father at home. Having at least those two days without any problems and tears seems like a great leisure these days. After this year’s surprise I don’t even want to know how it feels like to be in reunions and all, I just hope we get a peaceful new year next year, kahit January 1 lang, kahit 1 day itatagal ng kapayapaan sa bahay masaya na ako. It’s not about sparks and grades but I just needed to let this shit out somewhere..I’m an only child and pretty much a loner, I can’t seem to find anyone to talk to about this. I’m not really sure if this is something to be troubled about but well sorry if it’s mababaw. Anyways I hope you all had a fun Christmas and New Year Celebration, and remember to treasure those family and friends who really matter to you guys especially during the Holidays! :) The Indifferent Journalist 2014 Faculty of Arts and Letters
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 04:46:33 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015