Family ethics 1. Forgiveness And Forbearance The topic for discussion today is forbearance and overlooking faults. If the element of love is lacking in any household, forbearance and forgiveness can ameliorate the situation. Forgiveness is a divine word. When a person thinks of forgiving, he feels a radiance around him. Forgiveness is such a sweet and divine word that it is equal to love. The Holy Quran speaks highly of forgiveness and overlooking shortcomings, and divides it into two categories. The first category of forgiveness is that when a person notices a fault or shortcoming, he forgives for the sake of Allah or humanity.خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَ أْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَ أَعْرِضْ عَنِ الجَْهِلِينKeep to forgiveness, and enjoin kindness, and turn away from the ignorant. (Sura al-’Araf, 7: 199)The Holy Book exhorts Muslims to adopt the habit of forgiveness and leniency. They should enjoin the inhabitants of their homes to be kind and merciful with others. Therefore, the first stage of this attitude is that when one notices a wrongdoing or fault in anyone, he forgives him.The second stage is higher than the one mentioned above. The Quran wants us to attain a status where we can see no wrong. A person at this stage perceives no fault in his wife or other members of the family, so there is no question of forgiving them. This is called forbearance andforgiveness.The Holy Quran expects Muslims and human beings to cultivate the trait of forgiveness. If one notices a defect in anyone, he should forgive the person as if he is not aware of the fault! The Holy Quran asks Muslims: Don’t you want Allah to forgive you on the day of Judgement? Allah pardons those who practice forgiveness and forbearance. He forgives them in this world itself. On the Day of Judgement, Allah will not expose the faults of those who turn a blind eye to the faults of others. You must have heard that some persons will enter the Heaven without giving any account of their deeds. Their attitude of forbearance and forgiveness is the cause of their smooth entry into the Heaven. Some persons will have to account for their deeds, and then they will be forgiven so that they can enter Heaven. But some people will not give an account at all. Thus the Quran states that if you want to be pardoned on the day of Judgement, you too should pardon others in this world. At home, one should be a person who forgives and forgets others’ faults. If you do not want to be questioned about your deeds on the Day of Judgement, then don’t rebuke anyone when you notice his faults and failings. The husband should forgive and forget the wife’s mistakes; the wife should have the same attitude with her husband. In a poem said to be composed by Amir al Mu’minin (a.s.), he says that he forgave and pardoned a degraded person who had harmed him. In the closing verses of Sura Al-Furqan, 25, the Holy Quran describes the qualities of a mu’min, and says that pious souls behave in such a way with the evil, ignorant and foolish persons as if they were totally unaware of their faults. When a man enters his house and finds it untidy, the children are not clean, the wife has not bothered to freshen herself, because he is a good man, he overlooks these things. He forgives and turns a blind eye to these things. A husband ill-treats his wife, and behaves irresponsibly but she forgives him and turns a blind eye to his failures. She is patient and bears with him. It is these qualities that have been described at the end of Sura Al-Furqan, 25, but in different words. These verses should be taken to mean that Mu’minin should practice forgiveness, and overlook shortcomings in others, in the same way they would overlook it if their one year old were to slap them in the face. According to the Quran, a mumin should reach this stage. If he expects Allah to forgive him, and desires to enter Heaven without having to give an account for his deeds, he should have the qualities of forbearance and forgiveness in himself. The verse bears witness to the fact that one who doesn’t forgive, and answers evil with evil, cannot expect Allah to forgive him on the day of Judgement. Thus the second stage is to forget the evil done to him. But the Quran does not stop here. It expects more, especially from the people associated with the pulpit and the prayer niche, and those who are proud to be Shias. This is the third stage of forbearance and forgiveness. The Holy Quran says:ْ وَ يَدْرَءُونَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ السَّيِّئَة…..and they repel evil with good….. (Sura al Qasas, 28: 54)This means that when someone wrongs you, you should do good to them. In fact this verse has been repeated in the Holy Quran at several places. When a person tries to harm you, do good to him. The Prophet of Islam (s)has said that be (particularly) good to a person who has been bad to you.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 16:45:11 +0000
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