Fan question: I’m sorry this is such a long question, but it took a lot of explaining of my situation to help give you a look at what I’m trying to figure out! Thank you so much for any advice in advance! So, I’m looking for some advice, any advice really, from anyone. I currently live in Ontario, Canada. I do hate the city I live in, its just bad. However, I do love some of the people I have met here since I was forced to move here over 10 years ago. I have been in school (Finishing my G.E.D (I dropped out as soon as I turned 16, like a moron), and 2 diplomas and one certificate in college) for the last 6 years. I have had a few dreams and then changed my mind, but hey I was young. I finally decided what I want to do with my life, and I applied for University last January, at first nothing, I was rejected by all of them, and then my top choice (at the time I thought any way) accepted me. However, it’s 4 provinces over in British Columbia. I applied for a deferral to begin next September 2014, to give myself time, but I had decided that I wasn’t going to go because of my two best friends and the (what I thought was) love of my life, I just couldn’t leave them. Let me add here, both my parents and my grandmother (so basically all of my family) is on board to move with me and help me pay for and move too (so supportive!). Also, my boyfriend told me to go, he didn’t want me to pass up my chance, he also didn’t really want me to go but he would never tell me not too (thats what he had told me anyway). Unfortunately, the relationship recently fell apart, I’m still madly in love with him and still in a very hard place right now, it was a serious relationship, 3 years together, I still don’t even really understand completely what happened. Sadly, theres still a part of me that hopes he opens his eyes, realizes what he’s lost, misses me at least, and wants to try again, although I’m losing hope on that daily. Anyway, I never told my parents that I had at one point decided not to go, and recently they came to me and asked me if I had made up my mind, I now wasn’t sure, my boyfriend had just broken up with me, so I said I don’t know. They then told me they needed to know by the end of September/ beginning of October so they can gather the money and get things in order for shipping our stuff and places for all of us to live and whatnot. First, I’m afraid that I’m going to make this choice because I’m heart broken and want to get away from everything that reminds me of him and our relationship (it’s not a big city, and theres a lot of reminders around my own house). Although, I have wanted to go to this University for years, even before I met this guy. Which is kind of another sticky situation, when I first met him I talked about wanting to go there, and it was really weird because he then told me that his mother and sister live in the exact city where the campus of the University I want to go to is located. When we talked about it at the beginning of our relationship he said that it might give him another reason to move back if I get in. After I got accepted it became, he didn’t know if he could do it (understandably, he built a life here on his own!), and then he said he might because the company he works for is being bought out and if he got the buy out (which he deserves after working for them for 12 years and getting screwed the entire time!), but that was still a BIG might and I wasn’t holding out hope for that, which is one reason I had decided I wasn’t going to go, and I’d figure something else out, even if it meant it would take a couple extra years to get there with an University in Ontario, closer to me. I have met his one sister, but not his mother, and I don’t want to ever run into her, but I doubt those chances are high, it just feels weird. Second, My two best friends in the entire world live here and are actually now married to each other!! I’ve tried to convince them they should just come too, but I know I can’t expect that, its wayyyy too much to ask, so I just joke about it. I love these two people with all my heart, they are family in every way, even my parents feel the same. When I think about not being able to drive over to see them everyday or whenever possible to just hang-out, it makes me cry, like seriously, just the thought hurts. None of us make much money, so seeing each other even yearly would be a challenge. Thirdly, I’m going to be gone for approximately 9-10 years if I go. Because I’m working toward getting my Psyc. D. specializing in Forensic Psychology or Child and Youth Psychology. So, even if I did come back it would be in a really long time, and well I’m afraid after that long, like being here, I just won’t make that big of a move again. However, I want to go, if I could just bring the University here, I’d be much happier and this would be much easier! It is my dream. One of the best Universities for what I want to do in Canada (I keep describing it as “The Harvard of Canada” lol Ya know, my mom would be a proud “ Mother of a University of British Colombia Student” bumper sticker owner...). If I don’t go, my only real back up plan now is that I stay here, and I take a course like “Community Service Worker” in a local college/ Medix school, which would be over with in just over a year. I would be working in a career, starting my “future” and moving on. I’m just finding it really hard to decide what to do, and advice from anyone will just help me think about stuff I might not be thinking of or in a way I might not be thinking about it. So I guess my question, if you haven’t already guessed (lol) is, What should I do? Should I go, or stay? What would you do in my situation? Do you think if I go now, I’m just running away? It’s a HUGE decision in my life, and I just really want to feel like I’m making the right choice for me. Thanks for taking the time to read this! I know it was a lot to take in!
Posted on: Fri, 30 Aug 2013 04:00:01 +0000
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