Fan question My friend, a single father of one, early thirties, hasnt been in a relationship for well over 7 years now. He had some experiences that, well, lets just say he was hurt one too many times during his last couple of relationships in his early twenties. For years he would say he didnt trust himself to trust in anyone else, almost became reclusive, doesnt go out socially, doesnt really meet up anyone other than male friends a few times a year, showed no real interest in meeting any new potential partners. He seemed at peace with this though, and has often told me that he never really thought about searching for a partner. Until a couple of months ago. He met a woman in Wexford, in the place where she works, and has often brought her up in conversations since. Hes gone back to her workplace twice since then (for business reasons lol, hes not a stalker :P), and each time Ive seen him afterwards it seems like shes all thats on his mind. Its really great to see him thinking about taking a risk again. But he asked me for advice, and I dont know what to tell him. He says that shes really very friendly and chatty with him, and that he shes told him some personal details of her life, like the fact she shares a place with another woman, she has no children etc. He admits its been so long since he even thought about dating hes forgotten how to pick up on signs, the last time he asked someone out was in his early twenties, and he was full of confidence then, but now thinks hes forgotten how to pick up on signs. Hes terrified that hes imagining theres something there that doesnt exist, hes terrified of being turned down, and hes even more terrified of embarrassing the woman in work, as he doesnt know where else he would meet her. Hes asked me what I think he should do? Take the risk and ask her out, or just be happy that the thought has entered his head and build his confidence back up first? I love this guy like a brother, hes always been there for me, always, and my gut instinct is to tell him to go for it, ask her out, if she says no its not the end of the world.Time passes too quickly in our short lives to not take chances, but I know him so well I really am worried that if she did say no, or that if he felt he had embarrassed her that hed retreat further into his shell. I dont mean to paint him as a delicate flower either, hes not, he just had some nasty experiences that shattered his confidence, and not everyone is able to put the pieces back together so easily. Hes a great father, and a great friend, and knowing him as I do hed do his best to be a great partner to someone too. I really dont know what I should tell him, Im one of his few female friends, probably his closest female friend, and I really want to make sure I can give him the best advice possible, I owe him so much more than that. Please help! And sorry for the long essay for what must seem like a small thing to most of you, but trust me, to him its no small thing 😊 Thanks ever so much!
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 21:57:34 +0000
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