Fatherhood in Hinduism The Indian family was and usually still is an extended one—that is to say a close link is maintained between brothers, uncles, cousins, and nephews, who often live under one roof and who own the immoveable property of the family in common. It is patriarchal and patri-lineal. The father is the head of the house and administrator of the joint property and, except in the state of Kerala, the headship descends from the male line. It is always the family rather than the individual that is looked on as the unit of the social system. In Valmiki’s Ramayana, the favorite epic scripture for many Hindus, Rama’s father, Dasharatha, loves his son dearly but has to send him into exile because of the machinations of the stepmother. The king Dasharatha eventually dies of grief, missing his son dearly, a truly poignant reference to fatherly love. Rama himself sacrifices all personal good for that of the family and does not play any role in the early years of his sons Lava and Kusha, who are brought up by their mother, Sita. There is no doubt that Rama is portrayed as an ideal son, elder brother, husband, and monarch, but the same cannot be said about being an ideal father. The justification for this is explained by his being wholly committed to the governing principles of dharma, by which society and indeed the whole of the cosmos is regulated. Within Hinduism, the abandoning by men of their wives, and thereby their children, is a common leitmotif. The sage Jaratkaru was told by his ancestors that he could not go to heaven until he begot a son. This he did, but, prior to union with his wife, he made a contract that he would leave the son and the mother on the most insignificant excuse. So the son became the mother’s sole charge; the father did not even provide for the son’s maintenance. Under similar circumstances in Kalidasa’s fourth-century poem, Shakuntala took her son to Dushyanta’s court and charged the king with dereliction of paternal duty. Sita, wife of the lord Rama and mother of two princes, delivered and brought them up in the hermitage as mendicants because the father took no further notice of the mother and sons. Shiva is one of the most important Hindu deities. He does not see fatherhood as such an unmitigated blessing. For the lord of asceticism, whose pursuit of the renunciatory path has freed him from the clutches of samsara— that is, the constant curse of death and rebirth —a son is but a fetter and a nuisance. The son’s ritual role, although crucial in the world of humans, is irrelevant to the deity. Shiva expresses his resistance to procreation, which is characteristic of the renunciatory perspective, and reflects the fear of loss of autonomous power that comes with the loss of semen. Fatherhood is a stage of bondage to samsara. Withdrawal from attachment is the straighter path to renunciation. In this way, the archetypal happy celestial family of Shiva—Parvati, Ganesha, and Karttikeya—also begins with the decapitation of the son, Ganesha, by the father, Shiva. Ultimately when they are finally reconciled and are portrayed as a relatively normal, albeit celestial, family, Shiva remains the rather aloof father with not many mythological episodes pertaining to his offspring. The father appears to be more of a disciplinarian. Within Hinduism, the goddess is the more accessible gateway to the more distant father. It is often said by believers who worship Shri Lakshmi in the Shri Vaishnava tradition that by worshipping the mother, one can get to the father. The Upanishadic stories and the well-known dialogues between son and father are of interest. Shvetaketu, a young man, is instructed in the knowledge of ultimate reality. In the Chan-dogya Upanishad, the relationship between Shvetaketu and his father, Uddalaka, reflects the closeness that characterizes the Hindu father-son relationship from the early Vedic period. The father explains to his son deep metaphysical teachings, including notions of the Self and Brahman. In the Katha Upanishad appears an episode that deals with death in the context of the relationship between the father, Vajasrava, and his son, Nachiketa. Interestingly enough, the young boy, not yet an adolescent, is thoughtful but asks his father repeated questions that irritate the man. It is one of the most seminal texts about death in the history of Indian thought. Vamsha, the continuation of the biological line, is central to Hindu ontology. An auspicious marriage is the way to fulfill man’s obligations to society. According to classical scriptures, a man is born with three debts: to the sages, the gods, and the ancestors. Begetting of offspring was one of the most cherished ambitions of a householder. Also, a man paid his debts to the gods by having children, because the debt to the ancestor was discharged by lighting the funeral pyre. In several stories in the epics, it appears that holy men were often in demand if the husband was sterile or impotent. These practices are said to take place occasionally, but continue until the present day. In Vedic texts, Niyoga, the custom of levirate (cohabitation of the wife) was allowed or encouraged with the deceased husband’s younger brother. The progeny would bear the name of the husband, not the person with whom the wife cohabits. In that sense, fathers did not have any reason for anxiety, for no stigma was ever attached to an impotent male. Impotent kings in Brahmanical literature were never associated with any aspersion of scandal. It was always the woman who was blamed for failing to procreate. Still, since sons were property owners, they needed sons to inherit their property and possibly their craft, trade, or profession.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 03:53:57 +0000
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