~February 2012- May 2013 this was by far one of the hardest, yet eye opening experiences i have had so far in my short 19 years. I am still continuously learning from it to this day. I was the kid that hated himself and most others around me. my life was in no control. I fought the program life, and swore on my grave I would leave and never look back at such an experience. now that I look back, I cant be more grateful for the better life it has given me. I am no longer feeling hate, shame, anger, unhappiness, loneliness, etc. I am actually the exact opposite. I know why too... when i think back to ASR the 2 things that helped me the most was talking and listening. I talked about all the things i thought was wrong with me or things I felt shameful for, which some things at the time wasnt my fault, others were. some things I still cant believe I opened up about but I am so happy I did. i got the advice from others and motivation in myself to forgive and accept myself, others and then move on. for the first time in my life, I am truly happy, something i never thought i deserved to be. I was wrong. we all deserve happiness and love, but this all starts with ourselves. so with that, to any people I met while away that are struggling or still in programs, or even doing great, I wish you good luck in your future. I hope that you open up and talk about things that you need to. the things that make your skin crawl, make you feel worthless, or endless nights of internal suffering, thats what needs to be verbalized. it wont happen over night or even a couple days, but you will see a positive change in yourself over time. another is forgive! forgive yourself for all the wrong doings youve done. forgive those that you cant say sorry or talk to, but you know deserve it. forgive those who dont deserve it but it makes you all the bigger and stronger for doing so. heal and move on. live with no regrets, but just make sure you learn from a sour taste rather than ignore it. So thank you to everyone that has crossed my path from then to now, either postively or negatively. thank you to everyone that was there for me before and after the experience. I couldnt done with without all the support I had. i am so grateful. I miss so many of you terribly and i can only wish the best for you all! all my love
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 14:56:31 +0000
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