Feeling distraught- sad- alone. Ive been here before its never worked out well before. Want to curl up in a hole and disappear. She has done this before with so much meanness whoever deleted me because of her ... Its sad. I prayed last night . My prayer did not come true My life is becoming a nightmare. I live my life Love my family and Im always the one who gets hurt in the end. I have parented those babies since birth. I guess God must think Im some wretched person. I dont think its unfair after 8 years with Princess Anna and 3 with my Princess Allayah to ask where they are and if there safe. Praying they will always remember the nana who loved them with every inch of her being they are not toys they are beautiful lil babies but I guess God sees it differently and I have to accept that. Praying my child succeeds in her life and letting her know I forgive her and hate myself. That should make her feel better. So so extremely sad. Woke up crying 5 times last night. My heart hurts. All because of nothing She never let me say goodbye. Can hardly breathe. Its not like I have never dealt with loss. I never has a chance to say goodbye many of my loved ones I know I have to build a wall to protect myself. I never tried to make her feel bad about moving out. I told her I would be sad that its a fact of life. She has everyone believing Im the bad guy so I will take it in stride she is going to be homeless without a car unless this man lets her use his ( thinking his wife isnt going to want his lover to use it. Anyway the day she told me she was moving out. I told her I supported Her. I went and found a nice place for Thomas Ryan Brianna Berg lil Noah and I too live then she tells me Im abandoning her Im scared. The last 2 times did not end well. My grandson was murdered and my princess was taken away. Please lord watch over all of them. Today is another day. Maybe The Lord will just come and take me home so I no longer have to suffer. She has asked anyone who is friends with me to delete me. Do that for her please. She needs all the people on her life. Maybe if we have any mutual friends they can just tell her her mommie loves her and respects her decision as I told her the first day. I babysit 60,70 sometimes 80 hours a week and this argument was over 80 dollars. So she took the babies and ran. Im so so very very sad. Maybe you could say a prayer for me because I am sinking into a black hole
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 10:47:13 +0000