Feeling philosophical, part 3: Sometimes it just seems like, to quote Monty Python, lifes a piece of shit, when you think of it. Over the last couple of years Ive had a lot of things in my life that have really tried hard to get me down. Without going into too much detail (for those who dont already know), certain people I love have been going through things that I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. This includes me and my immediate family-- all of us have been involved. I have been through numerous disappointments in my life. Friends who have turned out not to be friends, people who dont know me at all who have unfairly judged me, job opportunities that turned out to not be what I wanted after all, unexpected financial worries, and watching people I care about as they go through some really tough times-- some of them self-inflicted, but mostly not. It just seems like were all destined to be hurt in life. For centuries people have asked the question, what is life for? Damn, I wish I knew. For all of the really good times, it seems like bad times are inevitable. Is this what were here for? Simply to live life and learn from it? And if so, for what purpose and to what end? Im not religious in any traditional sense, as Ive stated before, and anyone who knows me already knows that. However, neither am I an atheist in the traditional sense. I call myself an agnostic (my son tells me that the true term is agnostic atheist), because Im not quite arrogant enough to think or claim that I have all of the answers. It does seem that things usually happen for a reason, and even the lousiest things that happen in life often lead to something better somewhere down the line. I dont know if I believe in God in the classic sense, but I dont believe that when I die Ill simply cease to exist, either. There is evidence to be found that at least suggests the possibility of an afterlife, and I really want to believe in that, whether its logical or not. I feel sorry for those who cant even accept that possibility, because it seems to me that it makes life seem pointless. If life is not for learning, and perhaps bettering ourselves for whatever follows, then it would seem to be all for nothing. I have a conscious awareness, a sense of self, if you will, that is very tangible and real, and I cant wrap my head around the concept of someday having that simply come to an end-- to become nothingness. In addition, in my heart I want to believe that Ill see those Ive loved who have passed on again someday. Maybe all of that is just so much bullshit. But we all have to have something to believe in, something to give life, with all of its joy and all of its misery, some purpose. I dont know why our lives are such roller coaster rides. Sometimes the ups and amazingly up, but the downs can be depressingly down. As the band String Cheese Incident says in one of their songs, roller coasters gotta roll to the bottom if you wanta climb to the top again. I guess the bad has to happen to make us fully appreciate the good. Is this all by design or just happenstance? Perhaps none of us will ever know until that day comes that we leave this life. I hope we all like what we find.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 07:39:11 +0000
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