Fighting pain Yesterday was Tonys petscan. In the morning and afternoon his pain level was a one, so he just used Ibuprofen for the day. We had our hopes up that maybe he could get off his pain medication (it causes so many life-changing side effects: tiredness, nausea, confusion). Last night we found out that going off his pain meds was a bad idea; pain level went up to a nine. So now we are trying to get his pain level manageable again (he is at a 4-5 right now). So our spirits match the clouds today. But we are hopeful as his pain level is going down. PTL Because I had an upper respiratory virus this week, we were very fortunate that our brother-in-law and nephew, Mark and Eric and cousins, Jeff and Patti could get Tony to his appointments. Im starting to feel better, just a lot of fatigue and bone aches. During a sleepless night I had the privilege to read Rob Bughs book When the Bottom Drops Out. I worked for Rob at Calvary Bible Church in the 1980s and knew his family: Carol, his wife, and his three little girls. The book is about Robs journey through losing his best friend and his wife Carol to cancer within 18 months. Somehow it is very comforting hearing other peoples experiences and know that some of your thoughts during a loved ones illness arent so unusual. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts are sinful, selfish, desperate, and full of despair. Hearing others experience these same feelings, makes it easier. Along with these thoughts and feelings are experiences of overwhelming love from others, thankfulness, being totally dependent on others, and the sustaining love we can only receive from God. Waiting on the petscan results and praying for answers from God on how to proceed. He always gives us strength just when we need it, not before.
Posted on: Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:22:32 +0000
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