Finally it was my turn to feel the wrath of the Upper Respiratory Monster. By the time it hit me, it had reached the status of super villain complete with cape and mask. At its worst I was coughing up phlegm wads the size of gumballs in varying colors of red, green, yellow and orange. If that wasn’t bad enough, I also had daylong migraine headaches and nausea. The dilemma became trying to swallow Tylenol to help with the migraine, without doing it on an empty stomach, which would just add to the nausea. But the problem was, every food I could think of, even the ones I loved, made me gag. I decided to ask my wife to pick me up the only food I found comforting, a muffin. While I waited for her to come home, I picked a handful of frozen blueberries from a bowl and slowly popped them in my mouth one by one. It didn’t take long for my stomach to reject the idea of keeping them down and I threw the blueberries up, filling the toilet with what looked like blood. I’d been watching Walking Dead at night, oddly enough, as a way to help me fall asleep while I was sick. But because I was so ill and so exhausted from not being able to sleep through my coughing fits, I began to hallucinate a little, and I started to believe that maybe I was a zombie and that I’d been infected through the TV. I even told my wife that if this virus kills me, she needs to bash my brains in so that I don’t ‘turn.’ So when I saw the blueberry blood at the bottom of the bowl after passing out for a second, I thought I had been feeding. Finally when my wife came home with a muffin to help settle my stomach, I was hoping for banana but would gladly settle for corn. But what she produced from the white paper bag marked Muller’s Bakery was none other than a blueberry muffin.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:32:23 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015