Finding alliances in modern times can be quite challenging. Even more challenging however is fielding a variety of questions that parents put across. “I hold a high position in society – it is a matter of shame that I am compelled to seek matrimonial alliance for my daughter through matrimonial sites/ newspaper ads”, complained the prospective bride’s father. “My daughter is educated, beautiful and well cultured. Earlier, marriage proposals would come to our doorsteps -- what has become of our society “?- he wooed. True. But times have changed. Our expectations, values, attitudes, perceptions etc too have undergone changes . Earlier, relatives used to look for alliances from their extended families and these were normally settled by the family elders. Choices were limited but so were the parameters that decided alliances. With the internet throwing a large number of options, matchmaking is now more refined. Information and options of career, education, location, family status etc is available on net and this throws wide options to choose from. More and more educated people use internet to gather inputs and hence this medium is a better source of matrimonial inputs. Consequently, the bride/ groom’s search is more effective and refined which focuses on basics but indulges in specifics too. Marriage agencies handle a variety of matrimonial alliance seekers and are professionals who can offer proper advice, options and suggestions too. Often good alliance prospects go awry on trivial matters. Bloated egos of parents of either parties, unnecessary focus on avoidable details,disparity in views on certain matters rock the alliance boat. The matrimony service providers act as a go between and weed out the thorns through astute negotiations. Such interventions avoid matters to precipitate when going gets tough by family members handling negotiations themselves . No man is an island. One has to seek support for delicate/specialized tasks. It is therefore not a matter that involves loss of pride/face when alliance is sought through websites, newspapers , alliance facilitators etc. Howsoever high one’s own stature be, professional assistance helps in matchmaking. Refusal to do so not only restricts informed choice but also denies children of a better alliance prospect due to false sense of pride. Sadly the price of such irrational views are borne by children—lifelong.
Posted on: Mon, 30 Sep 2013 17:28:15 +0000
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